Your Marriage, After Infidelity

Say your spouse has caught you in the act of adultery. What do you do?

by Mort Fertel

Do you know how to save your marriage when you have been unfaithful?

Living with your own mistakes is hard enough, but imagine how your spouse must feel. The hurt, the betrayal and the brokenness might seem impossible to overcome.

Contrary to what you might think, you can fix a marriage scarred by infidelity.

Admit Your Mistakes

In the aftermath of an affair, giving in to denial is the worst thing you can do. Your spouse can probably pick up on your dishonesty, and this doesn’t get you any points in the trust column.

Instead, it’s best to own up to your mistakes. Come right out and say it. Don’t sugar coat anything. Don’t make excuses. Just be honest.

The admission will hurt both you and your partner, but you have to name the problem if you want to fix the problem.

Break All Contact

If you really want to know how to save your marriage when you have been unfaithful, pay attention to this part.

You absolutely must SEVER ALL TIES.

After cheating, you have to leave the “other woman” or “other man” behind, and never look back.

The more deeply invested you were in that person, the harder this step in the process is to make, but remember – you cannot divide your attention between your spouse and your lover.

Marriage is between two human beings, not three. Your husband or wife should be the one and only focus.

Live Your Love

It simply isn’t enough to say, “I love you,” over and over again. They’re just words until you actually LIVE them.

By no means should you stop declaring your love, but you need to couple your declaration with action.

SHOW your spouse that you’re sorry and that you still love them.

How? Well, do you remember when you first started dating? What did you do to demonstrate your love?

Do those things again.

Be Patient

Want to know how to save your marriage when you have been unfaithful?

Be patient. Don’t anticipate that your partner will forgive you right away.

Understand that your actions have probably wounded your spouse more deeply than you realize. They’re in pain. They’re confused. It’s very, very difficult to return to a place of confidence when that trust has been violated.

Think of it as a broken bone. When you fracture your arm or leg, it takes your body months to put the pieces back together one fragment at a time.

It’s the same way in your marriage. Healing takes time.

Get Help

In the case of an emotional or sexual affair, it is nearly impossible to keep your marriage alive without help.

A certified marriage professional can best tell you how to save your marriage when you have been unfaithful.

That begs the question, “What are the advantages to marriage infidelity counseling?”

Traditional marriage therapy does have its benefits. In a counselor’s office, you’ll find a listening ear, wisdom, perspective and experience.

What you won’t find, however, is a detailed, step-by-step strategy of how to repair the rift.

This is why so many marriages still fall apart after marital counseling.

But, there’s an alternative that has been proven effective for hundreds of couples struggling with infidelity.

It’s called Marriage Fitness.

Marriage Fitness teaches you not only how to keep your marriage together, but how to thrive by neutralizing common marriage problems and instituting positive habits, one day at a time.

The material instructs you how to:

Cope with emotional cheating
Heal after betrayal
Forgive infidelity in a marriage
End destructive patterns of denial
Deal with addictive behaviors
Reconnect with your spouse
Experience the excitement of love again
Prevent future infidelity
Stop your divorce and save a marriage
Know whether to stay or go

It works, even if your spouse wants divorce and you are intent on saving your marriage alone. By changing yourself, you can change your marriage.

Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. He is the creator of Marriage Fitness, a relationship renewal system and an alternative to marriage counseling. Marriage Fitness is the most successful marriage crisis program in the world, successfully used by millions of people in marital crisis.

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