by Carol Allen
If you’re like many women I’ve talked to, you may be terrified to trust a man.
Perhaps you’ve been lied to, or betrayed. Maybe your father wasn’t faithful to your mother. Maybe you’ve had girlfriends suddenly lose their husbands unexpectedly to other women.
Perhaps you’ve read a few too many issues of “The National Enquirer” about the latest celebrity marriage rocked by
It certainly does seem like there’s reason to have doubts.
If you’ve come to believe that all men are lying bastards, it may surprise you to learn that women are guilty of sexual straying almost as often as men.
And, while you can’t control another person or dictate what they do, there are many things you CAN do to ensure a man be much less likely to fall victim to the charms of other women.
There’s a big myth many people believe that does a lot of damage to relationships…
It’s the idea that men can’t be faithful. The old “boys will be boys” mentality.
The thinking is that men are born lotharios, designed by nature to “spread their seed” as much – and as often – as possible for the survival of the species.
But that women are not this way at all, as we’re supposed to look for and lure just one mate to help provide for and protect our offspring to ensure that they survive and thrive. (Seems like kind of a broken system, doesn’t it – if the survival of the species works one way for men, but the opposite for women?)
While it is true that in the event of a shipwreck if the captain and all the show girls end up on one deserted island, and the female cruise director and all the stewards end up on another deserted island, soon there will be far more babies on “show girl island.”
But there’s a lot more going on here…
Marriage studies prove that the REAL myth isn’t that men can’t be monogamous.
It’s the idea that men can’t while women can.
Research has found that even in many other species of the animal kingdom, it’s the partner that’s the main caretaker of offspring that’s likely to be faithful – no matter the gender.
Historically, because men were the ones working outside of the home while their wives were safely at home raising the children, it was men who were the ones more likely to enjoy the romantic attentions of people other than their mate.
But not anymore…
These days, because young women are also busy working outside of the home, they’re unfaithful MORE often than their male partners.
So – the answer?
Lock your honey in the house with the kids!
Luckily, there are some other things you can do to ensure your mate won’t want to “fool around” on the side.
According to Dr. John Gottman, founder of the most rigorous scientific marriage study ever done, the most positive thing you can do to keep your relationship satisfying in terms of sex, romance, and passion is…
(Drum roll, please…)
…improve the quality of your FRIENDSHIP with one another.
Isn’t that amazing?
So – it’s not how much you weigh.
It’s not what you look like.
It’s not if you answer the door in nothing but Syran Wrap…
It’s if you’re good friends first and foremost.
You see, no one wants to hurt their good friend.
The closer the friendship between two people, the less either can “stomach” the idea of letting the other down.
But the more disconnected two people feel, and the weaker the friendship, the more likely they are to betray each other.
The disconnection is a betrayal in itself.
So, be your guy’s best friend. Care about the things that matter to him. Ask him how his day went. Better yet – check in with him during the day – just to say hi. Take an interest in his dreams. Try to share in his passions – outside of the bedroom. Get up to greet him when he comes home. (I can’t tell you how many women have told me they don’t do this simple thing…) Act like he’s actually your priority.
And – when he does want to connect with you physically – show some enthusiasm for the (ahem) job.
Men who have cheated have all told me the same thing – when they’d approach their mate for some “special alone time” she’d act like she wasn’t interested.
She’d sigh… or roll her eyes… or give him a “do we HAVE to?” look.
These same men would go to work and there’d be a hot secretary who would act like he hung the moon…
Or a gorgeous client he’d always felt drawn to would be just a tad too flirty too often…
Or an old girlfriend from college that he never quite got over would email him and want to see him again…
You see, one thing we forget is that it’s a BIG world, and an abundant universe – if you’re not excited to connect with your man, odds are, someone else will be… and they’ll let him know it.
And if he’s been feeling rejected by you – he may not be able to resist…
Now, that doesn’t excuse him.
I’m just saying – there are things you can do.
Now, there is a piece to this tricky topic that you can’t necessarily do anything about. And that’s the fact that some men ARE born philanderers – and it IS their nature to stray…
Even when they’re happily involved with you.
Even if you treat him like he’s your best friend in the whole world.
Even if you have nothing BUT enthusiasm for him, and getting “up close and personal” with him.
While it’s a myth that ALL MEN are natural cheaters, it’s true that SOME MEN are.
And SOME WOMEN are…
And it can all be seen in the stars.
You see, we all come in with a basic nature that makes us who we are.
I like to say we’re “preloaded at the factory.”
This basic nature covers numerous possible personality characteristics that have to do with “relating”…
For example, some of us are born more romantic than others.
Some us are “wired” to be more analytical than others.
Some of us are more likely to be addictive…
And some of us need a lot of (ahem) variety…
But some of us are loyal – no matter what.
While it can be complicated to determine if a person will be faithful or not, the main thing to indicate this in a man’s chart is his Moon sign and constellation.
(I’m using the word “constellation” to mean the twenty-seven original signs of astrology – smaller clusters of stars that are within the twelve signs of the zodiac, that give far more detail and insight into a man’s psychology than the “normal” signs you know.)
Amazingly, some astrological constellations are associated with happiness in marriage.
While others give a person more of a, shall we say, “independent” spirit.
Obviously, to be good friends with a man to give your relationship as much “intimacy insurance” as possible, it helps to be compatible with him.
So quit thinking men can’t be faithful and find one that actually can – and will.
You deserve that and so much more…
And may God and his planets and stars shower you with love!
From Sarah: Carol has great help for you – and not just about Astrology – she’s a fabulous relationship coach with a huge following and so many success stories – her letters and reports are amazing –Go right here to get her free newsletters->