by Evan Marc Katz
What happens when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a man?
Well, there’s the feeling of chemistry and everything that comes along with it – the obsessive highs that come with wanting to be with him, the joy of feeling incredibly connected, and, what you may forget, the willful blindness that allows you to overlook his flaws.
That’s one of the most miraculous things about chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
This was incredibly apparent to me when I read your questions in my survey and received hundreds of comments from women attributing your dating and relationship failures to attracting the wrong men. First of all, let’s get one thing straight.
MOST men are the wrong men.
If you were an average woman, you’d be able to be with an average man and be content.
Since you’re an above average woman – smart, strong, successful – your standards are going to go up accordingly.
So if, by your standards, 95% of men are the WRONG men, it makes it that much harder to find ANY guy to date, and makes each new man who does qualify seem all the more important. Once a guy passes through your strong chemistry filter, he’s in.
By this point, you’ve forgotten the third rule of chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
Which is why you can have incredible chemistry and end up in a TERRIBLE relationship, where he doesn’t call you, doesn’t sleep with you, doesn’t compliment you, doesn’t make you feel safe, and doesn’t commit to you.
But you stick around because of how strong your rare FEELINGS are. You’ve now discovered the real secret to why you’re in dead end relationships:
You don’t attract the wrong men, you accept the wrong men.
If you consistently find yourself in relationships with liars, cheaters, addicts, leeches, or commitmentphobes, your job isn’t to get them to stop lying, cheating, drinking, mooching or committing. Your job is to leave.
At a certain point, it’s not his fault for being fundamentally flawed.
It’s your fault for thinking that your chemistry is powerful enough to change your broken relationship. Remember, most men are the wrong men. Men with chemistry are the ones who break through, but you give them a free pass.
You’ll never stop attracting the wrong men, but starting now, you can stop ACCEPTING the bad behavior of the wrong men… and save yourself years of heartbreak and pain.
From Sarah: If that powerful bit of advice makes sense but you find it hard to implement, I highly recommend that you check out Evan’s dating website and his book, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever.” Soon, you’ll be able to distinguish good men from bad men, see what you’ve been doing wrong your entire life, and have great success dating –>>