by Carol Allen
Have you ever had this happen?
You meet a man and you feel an instant interest… He seems drawn to you as well. And you’re so excited when he asks for your phone number. You can’t wait to have him call you and sweep you off your feet.
Days pass… no call. You start to feel like you’re never going to hear from him. And you’re so surprised, because you really felt something special with him, and could have sworn he did, too. Finally he calls, just as you’d given up thinking he would. You make plans to get together. You go out. You have a great time. You were right! You really like him, and you can tell he’s
smitten, too. At the end of the date, he says he’ll call soon. You can’t wait to see him again.
All the next day you leap every time your phone rings. But you don’t hear from him all day… You tell yourself he’s playing it cool. He doesn’t want to seem too eager. Yeah, that must be it. But you don’t hear from him the next day, either. Or the next… Or the next. You’re so surprised. And disappointed. What happened? You obsess about the date, trying to remember what you did or said that might have put him off. Was it your hair? Did you talk too much? Did you laugh too loud? Was it those shoes? You can’t think of anything. You start to get depressed.
Again, just as you’d started to give up hope, he calls. You almost can’t contain yourself. You’re so happy. You hope he wants to see you again. He finally says he does, but is busy for a few days. You feel like you’re going to explode with impatience. Finally your second date happens.
Again, it’s magical. You have so much fun with him. Your chemistry is amazing. You’re so excited… At the end of the date, he says he’d love to see you again soon. He says he’ll call. You’re on a cloud. You wake up the next day thinking of only him. You leap every time the phone rings. But… he doesn’t call all day. You keep checking your phone to make sure it’s working. The next day – same thing. And the next. And the next.
You think you’re going to burst. You start to wonder if he’s married or something. You wonder if you should call him. You don’t know what to do… Sigh. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting bored just writing about this. Think how much more annoying it is to actually BE in this position. Okay, I’ll hang in there for a bit, ’cause we’re getting to the good part…
Cut to three months later. You’re a couple. You’re madly in love. He’s a really great guy, and you feel lucky. You’re seeing each other regularly, but you’re not quite secure with him. You think about him all the time… but it doesn’t seem like he thinks about you as much.
It always feels like you don’t hear from him as quickly as you’d like to. And you still don’t see him as often as you want to, either. You always feel like you call him before he calls you, and that you’re ready to get together before he wants to. You feel like most of the plans you make happen because YOU suggest them. Or you plan them. You think of them – before he does. And pretty soon, you notice that you’re always attending to him, but he’s NOT attending to you. And it starts to make you crazy… It’s like this relationship always leaves you hungry for more – like he’s a big plate of chocolate chip cookies but you’re only getting one bite at a time, and never a whole cookie.
I hear this kind of thing from women ALL the time. And amazingly, I can see it between their chart and that of the man in their
life INSTANTLY. And when I say to them, “Do you feel like you’re more bonded to your guy than he is to you?” They always say YES. And they’re so relieved that it’s not their imagination, and it’s not their fault. And – BEST OF ALL – it’s not because of what they think… It’s NOT because their man doesn’t love them.
That’s right – it’s NOT because he doesn’t care. It’s because the energy between them works this way – SHE has the faster process than him, and is always ready for the next step in the relationship before he is. This makes her feel that she is more bonded to him than he is to her… And it’s no one’s fault. But it makes her feel terrible. And it makes him feel like, no matter what he does, he can’t make her happy. So both people suffer.
Because men are socialized to pursue women, this problem doesn’t always show up right away, but over time she becomes drained and frustrated. My biggest advice if you’re in a relationship like this, is to not take it personally. And to try to keep yourself busy and happy in your own life away from your man. Learn to sit back and give him the time he needs to catch up to you and be ready for what you’re already ready for – and remember that just because he needs more time, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.
May God and his planets and stars shower you with love!
From Sarah: Carol has great help for you – and not just about Astrology – she’s a fabulous relationship coach with a huge following and so many success stories – her letters and reports are amazing –Go right here to get her free newsletters->