Why Our Marriage Lasted And How Yours Can Too

If you know me, or know Rori, you know that we’ve been married a long time. 

by Jeffrey Levine

So it was only natural when a client recently asked me, “What is the most important quality of a long term relationship?”

Well there have been a ton of books written on this topic. And the answer isn’t any one specific thing, and different couples are bound to answer this differently.

But I feel confident in saying that one of the most important qualities of any good relationship is the ability to talk about anything – no matter how difficult, triggering, unpleasant or uncomfortable the conversation gets.

This ability is at the very heart of deeper connection and more intimacy with your partner. 

And yet that is often where people get stuck. Is that true for you?

I talk about this in my book, “How To Talk To A Man.”

I know what anger and frustration and disappointment feel like. And I know how challenging it can be to get the right words out. 

And how horrible it feels when you try to get the right words out and things get worse.

Here are some actual statements I’ve heard from women:

“I caught my husband in another lie. I’m just ready to give up.”

“He said he’s not comfortable talking about his feelings, so I don’t even try anymore.”

“Sometimes I don’t even like my husband. How can I possibly tell him that?”

“He told me he’s tired of hearing me complain, so I just hold it all in.”

“I don’t like being the one initiating everything, but when I tell him that, he just says he’s tired.”

ALL of this needs to be talked about.

There’s no way a relationship is going to last long-term, let alone be joyful and loving, if these high-stakes conversations don’t happen. 

Which is where “How To Talk To A Man” comes in. 

I’ll show you:

  • Why he pushes back, and how to avoid that.
  • How to ask for what you need in a way he can hear you.
  • When and how to discuss your feelings
  • The subtle difference between a request and a demand, and why that’s so important.

Being able to talk about it all, where both partners feel heard, is the way to make sure your relationship has what it takes to last.

Jeffrey Levine is a corporate coach and trained mediator (and Rori Raye’s husband) who works with both men and women to improve their communication, deepen their connection and remove the blocks that keep them from feeling and expressing love. He is the author of “How To Talk To A Man”, which contains invaluable advice, tools and solutions to help you avoid common relationship pitfalls, and clean things up when they go south. “Every moment presents a new choice for you: a decision about what you want – and what you believe you deserve.”

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