by Michael Fiore
Hey, it’s Mike . . .
I got this relationship question this morning that I feel like I have to answer . . .
EW asks . . .
“Hi. I was wondering if you had any advice for this…
I was dating a guy for about a month. This guy is brutally honest and sometimes he would say things that hurt my feelings.
I would talk to my friends about it to see if I was just overreacting.
He found out and we ended up breaking up. I really want to be with him.
He was mad that I wouldn’t open up to him, but he wouldn’t open up to me either so I don’t really understand. He said when we first got together I made him really happy and then I just made him unhappy the more he got to know me. And that when he looked at me he still thought he was going to be really happy with me but it just didn’t happen.
I wanted another chance with him because I am so sure I could make him happier than he has ever been, but he says he doesn’t know what he feels anymore and only wants to be friends. My friends think that he wanted me to break up with him… I just don’t know what I should do here.
I was so happy with him. No one has ever made me that happy, even though a few of the things he said hurt. But he always made up for it later… I miss him and want to be with him more then anything…. Any ideas?…”
OK, let’s rock …
Two Big Things Here About Your Relationship:
1. You can’t “make him happy” and it’s not your job to make him happy anyway.
Listen, I’ve talked about this plenty of times before, but the whole idea that a woman can “make” a man happy or a man can “make” a woman happy is totally toxic to good relationships.
He’s responsible for his own happiness and you’re responsible for yours.
Your job in a relationship is to be a good partner, to be supportive, to be positive.
It’s NOT to bend yourself into pretzels trying to make him happy. Focus on your own happiness and the romance and relationship will come.
2. This guy sounds very controlling and manipulative to me (and I think you’re right that he was trying to get you to break up with him because he couldn’t pull the trigger himself.)
There are much better guys out there. Focus on yourself. Build up your self esteem and the “good” guys will be tripping over themselves to be with you.
From Sarah: For an incredible assortment of full texting scripts and great romantic texting ideas to try with a man, you’ll really want to check Michael out (I immediately downloaded his ebook Text The Romance Back and loved it so much – that’s why I’m recommending it here…) Go here to discover how you can nearly instantly create way more romance with a man and get what you really want in a relationship->