by Christian Carter
Continued from Part 2.
Ok, so you’re starting to become more aware of why being affectionate can have different meanings to a man at different times. But, there’s a whole other “angle” here I want you to see as well…
For most men, in order to become “serious” about dating and getting to know a woman, they need to know that the woman they’re going to choose is worth their “effort”. In the context of a serious, long term relationship, a man’s “effort” might mean spending the time, energy and taking the risk of approaching and courting a woman. And there’s the social, emotional and financial cost of “courting” a woman.
In a man’s mind, even if he isn’t fully conscious of these things, or given the fact that men and women are more of equals on these levels than they have ever been… it’s part of a man’s “wiring” for all these things to affect his mind just at the thought of a serious relationship with a woman.
Why am I telling you all of this?
Because one of the quickest ways that a man determines if a woman is worth his “effort” is by WHAT SHE TELLS HIM she’s worth.
Of course, a woman can’t just tell a man that she’s worth his “effort” by telling him in words. Just like a man can’t walk up to you and say, “I’m great boyfriend material”. So as with most other things in the “courtship process”… these things happen through indirect signals in a woman’s actions, body language, and of course… with her looks. (Looks happen to be an indicator of fertility to men on a deep subconscious level which lets them know that their “efforts” will be more easily rewarded with a healthy child.)
Don’t get freaked out just yet since we’re going into some of the “biology” here. Stick with me.
So what’s one of the strongest indirect indicators of woman who is worth a man’s “effort”?
Well, think it through.
Men have come to recognize that women who are worth their effort are RARE. And accordingly, men compete for these women. All this gives these women a kind of high social status. And it’s this high social status that allows a woman to be SELECTIVE about the men they choose to be with.
Then you recognize that SELECTIVITY is one of the strongest indicators to a man that a woman is worth his “effort” (the kind of woman that he wants to have a real relationship with).
So what does this have to do with being affectionate often with a man… and not being a “challenge” as you called it?
When a man is around a woman who seems to share her love and affection very easily, on a SUBCONSCIOUS level, a man doesn’t see this woman as very “special” or valuable. You might be thinking right now, “I just want to be able to be playful and affectionate and not worry about all this other crap”.
Hey, I get it.
Truth be told… men feel the exact same way about meeting, approaching, dating and being in long term relationships with women. So why is something that could be so simple like love, affection, and connection seem to always get so complex.
Well, a lot of what’s going on between men and women is “encoded” in a kind of unspoken language that isn’t visible to the naked eye. If you don’t know what to look for, you’re likely to never know what’s really going on underneath the surface.
A lot of what I’ve shared here is what is happening on an SUBCONSCIOUS level in a man’s mind. In other words, a man isn’t going to tell you all of these things if you ask him. A man does not have these answers about himself for you… and he can’t help you.
A man is NOT going to say to you:
“I like to feel masculine and manly… and it feeds my self-esteem… so could you please let me court you and and resist a little bit and keep me guessing so I can feel like I “win” you… that way it will help me see that I’m special and lucky and significant as a man, and let me appreciate that I’m the one guy who gets to be with you.”
Of course, if you asked a man about this, he’d probably deny it and say that he likes a woman to be fun, easy, and laid back.
If you’re ready to take your AWARENESS and KNOWLEDGE to the next level when it comes to men, communication, and UNDERSTANDING the powerful SUBCONSCIOUS triggers and mechanisms at work in men while dating and in relationships, then I
suggest you do yourself a favor. Don’t wait for a man to come along who has enough of the answers figured out to make a relationship easy for you.
In fact, you might have already met the right guy, but you just didn’t know how to make it work between you.
What if it really didn’t work out because of bad timing?
What if there was something that you’re just not “getting” about men, dating, and relationships?
It’s time you took control of your life and gave yourself the CERTAINTY that comes from KNOWING what you need to create the kind of connection with a man that is going to keep you both happy and together.
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love!
From Sarah: You’ll want to get Christian’s free eletters – they’re all amazing, like this one, and once he’s sent them out, you won’t see them again (except here – and I’m working my way through my favorites for you) – just go here to learn more about how Christian knows so much about women (oh, and he SO does…) and to get his free advice->