In every relational problem, there is a gap. And no, I am not referring to a store!
The gap is the space between where things are and where you want them to be.
The gap is between how things are and how they should be.
The gap is between how you see things and how your spouse sees things.
The gap is between any number of items.
But between each of these items, that gap leads to friction and disconnect.
Friction comes when the gap is not that large. It rubs you against your spouse as you struggle to get on the same side. Over time, though, the gap widens until there is disconnect and disillusionment.
Whenever I think about coaching, relationship or otherwise, I see the challenge as helping someone get from where they are to where they want to be.
And the way to do this is to note the places of being stuck.
So let me ask you, Where Are The Gaps?
This is not a theoretical question to assert there are gaps. It is an exercise. Sit down and make a list.
Note on one column where you are, and note in the other column of where your spouse is. How far apart are you?
Note on one column where your marriage is. In the other column, note where your marriage needs to be. How far apart is it?
As you begin to clarify the gaps in your relationship, you can begin to see themes and directions.
When you are ready to take the next step in closing the gap, I invite you to grab the Save The Marriage System.
Lee Baucom, Ph.D. is a best-selling author, therapist, coach and speaker, and has over a quarter of a century of experience helping couples and individuals learn to thrive in their relationships and their lives. He is the creator of the internet marriage program, Save The Marriage.