Have you ever felt like your man’s love is slipping by you, and you’re just not quite connecting with him?
You enjoy each other, have fun together. Sex is mostly good, maybe even amazing. But you’re having trouble feeling his love?
So you start questioning. All of it.
You think maybe what you need is more contact. So you ask him to call you more, text you more during the day. You request that he hold you more, hug and kiss you more, be with you more.
But if anything this makes you feel worse. Strangely even the initial excitement of moreness doesn’t relieve you of this feeling of not enoughness.
AND he seems to be pulling away.
Not only is he likely feeling your angst, he’s also feeling pressure from you. Pressure “to perform” in a sense. So much – if not all – of the spontaneity is lost.
He’s also likely feeling somewhat turned off by all of this too.
And now you can REALLY feel him withdrawing, sometimes a lot likely because of your unrest and what feels like demands being put on him.
He probably is starting to think he can’t seem to make you happy no matter what he does.
And this is actually creating even more distance between you, not less. So you feel less of the feeling of feeling loved.
Oh dear…And now you feel more despairing than ever.
Now what? You start wondering if maybe he is not the right man for you. But you’ve been through something like this before with another man, maybe many other men. Confusion reigns.
I have a question for you:
Do You Ever Feel What Feels Like Love, Maybe Even Huge Love In Other Areas, Arenas, Venues?
For example, do you feel filled with warmth and yummy goodness after having been lauded over something you did or made?
And in those moments you feel so loved; you feel filled up with so much of it?
Here is a great example of this in action. I have a client who has been complaining of not feeling loved enough by her man who by the way is totally and absolutely crazy about her.
She also went on to tell me that she used to feel very loved after having performed on stage. The applause, the adulation, the recognition made her feel adored.
Now I hope you realize that this is not love.
It’s maybe awe, admiration, appreciation, support, and yes validation. But this isn’t love.
How could it be? These people do not know her, not really, not the deep down, raw part of her that maybe just maybe her man has caught glimpses of. (He would love to see more of this. Did you know?)
There are two things going on here: