When Sex Before Marriage Is Not An Option

What happens when you’re not on the same page as your boyfriend about sex and marriage?

Here’s a letter we recently received:

Hello there.

My situation is unique.

I am a very good looking over 55 year old.

I am a very strong woman of Faith and for me – I refuse to have pre-martial sex – not an option.

I am dating a lovely man for 4 years and 3.5 of those years has been exclusive. We get along fabulously!!!!!! I have a very incredible exclusive relationship with him and he treats me like his wife (ie involved in all his decision making – ie purchases, clothes, appliances, vehicles, etc., even work our relationship is full of mutual respect for each other.)

At first we talked about marriage. Now we don’t.

Last time he said “No marriage before sex but I do want a life with you – to be together.”

I said “No sex before marriage- because as far as I think you want all the benefits and no commitment.”

We are at a stalemate I love him – he loves me.

We have a great relationship other then a few things: 1) I would like it if he would come to church more often with me- he knows this is my hearts desire, and 2) if he did come to church more often with me then i would want to marry him.

I have come to accept and wait patiently for the #1 to happen so that I could feel confident the marriage would be successful.

What are your thoughts? How can i influence him to go to church, and then marry?

Thank you for your help.

Blessings, Heather



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