by Alexandra Fox
When it comes to having sex with a man for the first time, the prevailing trend is to do it on the third date.
Of course, it’s NEVER that simple. There are many, many other crucial factors that affect your relationship’s chances of success.
So how long should you wait until it’s “okay” to have sex with a man?
The first date?
The THIRD date?
Maybe after a month of dating?
If you’ve been reading my newsletters and e-books, then you may already know that I suggest a fixed guideline for my readers: 3-6 months.
And as you might expect, it’s one of the most HOTLY debated ideas in the Unforgettable Woman community! Many
readers have written to me with their comments, which include:
“Alex, I think that’s a little too long.”
“How can you be so sure of that, Alex?”
Or my all-time favorite:
“Who do you THINK you are? You have NO RIGHT to tell me when I can have sex with a man!”
Never fails to make me giggle! But if you feel the same way, I’ll show you later in this Newsletter why waiting 3-6 months before having sex is NOT just my personal, misguided, bigoted opinion.
In the meantime, let’s talk about what SOCIETY thinks of the matter…
What Society Will Tell You About Sex
If you asked today’s society (or more specifically, the MEDIA) when you can have sex with a man for the first time,
the answer would be: “Whenever you want! It’s 2013! You’re FREE! Do what makes you HAPPY!”
Like music to our ears, right?
Of course, society won’t mention the fact that 45% of all marriages today end in messy divorces…
It also won’t tell you that “instant” relationships result in substance abuse, rapes, unwanted pregnancies, domestic abuses, massive debt, jail time, and broken families starving for both nourishment and love.
But hey, as long as you’re “happy,” right?
In case it’s not obvious enough, I’m being sarcastic. Society thinks it’s okay to be promiscuous, to have sex on the first date, to throw all conventional wisdom about love and relationships out the window.
Well, news flash – it’s NOT okay. How in the world can divorce, rape, and broken families be OKAY?
Sorry, that’s not how we do things in the Unforgettable Woman community. Around here, we have STANDARDS. ;)
And yup, one of those standards happens to be the practice of waiting 3-6 months before sex!
Why It’s Important to Wait 3-6 Months Before Having Sex
Here’s why the “3-6 month rule” works so well for women. First, and perhaps most importantly, IT FILTERS OUT ALL THE JERKS.
I’m sure you know by now – in the dating game, some men are just in it for the sex. And they’ll say all sorts of things, even sacred words like “I love you,” just to get into your pants.
And once they’ve had their way with you, they dump you and move on to the next “notch on their belt.” Grr!
Waiting at least 3 months is a great way to filter out the horny little boys from the REAL men. Why? Simply because jerks can easily wait one month to have sex with you – two months if they’re really persistent.
But most horny jerks are NOT willing to wait 3 whole months!
That alone should be a good enough reason to wait 3-6 months before sleeping with a man. But there’s more…
The second reason why you should wait a while before sleeping with him: It builds self-control and self-esteem, two of the rarest (and most attractive) female traits in the dating game.
We all know sex is awesome. But how long can you hold back the urges?
It’s not easy. That’s why most women take the easy way out – just giving in to the urges – whenever they feel like it. (And what untold suffering this lack of self-control has caused!)
So here’s the score table: If you can wait until 1 month, your level of self-control is pretty average.
2 months, you’re pretty good – much stronger than most women.
3 months, and you’re on the honor roll, girl!
But if you want to be a truly UNFORGETTABLE WOMAN, I suggest you go all the way – wait 6 whole months before letting a man into your bedroom.
Here’s why. Studies are showing that couples who wait 6 months before having sex are the strongest, happiest ones.
That’s right – studies are now confirming what our community has known for 5 years, since I released my very first e-book collection (“The 77 Secrets Of Love”) in 2008.
And in case you’re STILL not convinced, here’s the third reason why it’s so important to wait 3-6 months…
It gives your mutual attraction a chance to grow and develop into TRUE LOVE.
Does physical attraction turn into true love after the first date? The THIRD date?
Of course not. True love needs time to grow – MUCH more time than three measly dates.
Exactly how much time does it need?
Take a guess. ;)
SO WHAT’S YOUR NEXT MOVE?
So as you can see, the “3-6 month rule” isn’t something I made up. MOTHER NATURE made it. SCIENCE supports it. And millions of happy couples around the world can testify to it.
Now, I’m sure some of you are asking: “So Alex, are you telling me I don’t have a choice in the matter?”
Of course you have a choice. Your life, your rules. You have the freedom to choose whatever you want in life.
What I AM saying is that if you REALLY want your relationship to last forever, you HAVE to delay sex a while. Relax. Chill. And let the love you share with your man grow the way it’s meant to be.
Otherwise, your relationship has AT LEAST a 45% chance to fail. Do you really want to risk that?
To the happiness you deserve,
From The Editors at LoveRomanceRelationship: Alexandra is the author of the well-loved book “77 Secrets to Make Him Love You” – just go here to get her free newsletters with her great advice and check out “77 Secrets” – you’ll learn not only “why” but how, in the pursuit of true intimacy and lasting connection, to enticingly delay sex->>