Have you ever felt this – Things are going great and then everything goes wrong?
I have always used the phrase ‘having the rug pulled from underneath me’ to describe those moments.
I’d be feeling happy, feeling positive.
My job was going well, the relationship I was in was going fantastically well; I was feeling on top of the world.
For me, when I found myself in this place, I wouldn’t want to say anything.
I wouldn’t want to say that I felt on top of the world.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever uttered those words.
I wouldn’t want to say it because I believed if I did, I’d tempt fate.
I was ALWAYS aware of the RUG – and that it could be pulled away from underneath me at any time.
Something that I felt I had no control over.
Sometimes though, when things had been going great for a few weeks I’d find myself, tentatively, sharing my good feelings.
I’d tell my friends, my family and my work colleagues about how great it was going with the guy I was dating.
Everyone would be pleased for me and I knew my family would be relieved.
Then something would happen.
It might be I’d have a difficult meeting at work and the next day the guy I’d been dating didn’t call or text and when I got home from work there was a big bill sat on the doormat.
Then things would get worse.
And then suddenly I’m noticing all sorts of things.
I’m noticing that the guy I’m dating has pulled back a bit.
I’m noticing things he says and does that I don’t like very much.
I notice he’s not asked me how I am when we last spoke on the phone.
I’m starting to doubt that things are as good as I thought they were.
I’m also starting to pick up bad vibes at work.
And I’m beginning to worry about money.
That’s when I realize the RUG has been pulled.
And that’s when the THOUGHTS start:
‘Well, it’s inevitable. This always happens. It’s always too good to be true. It always goes wrong. I shouldn’t have said anything – I tempted fate. I shouldn’t have believed it was going to stay good.”
And then I spiral down.
And I feel embarrassed in front of my friends.
I now feel everything’s going wrong and I wish I’d never said anything.
Here’s a thought.
What if, everything that I experienced after the difficult work meeting and the guy not calling and the bill landing on the doormat – wasn’t real?
What if, everything I noticed and felt afterwards was made up by ME?
What if, I was attaching meaning to the things that were happening?
What if, I was starting to grab the corners of my OWN RUG?
And from that fearful, imaginary place I started to act differently.
Does this resonate with you?
We look for evidence it’s all going wrong.
We look for what’s not right with the guy we’re dating.
We look for the bad vibes at work.
And whatever we look for we will find.
And guess what – it’s no wonder it all goes wrong!
We’ve started pulling at our OWN RUG!
What was REAL was that the guy I’d been dating hadn’t called for 24 hours.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So, here’s an idea.
What if, you stepped off your RUG?
Go on, DO IT now!
Feel the RUG under your feet.
Feel its warmth, its softness, its springiness.
Now step off it onto the bare floor.
Feel the cool floor beneath your feet.
Feel its hardness; how solid it is.
Feel the connection with the earth below.
Feel how REAL that feels.
Now as for the RUG.
Imagine taking it to the Charity Shop, burning it in the garden or putting it in the corner of the room with a big heavy chest on it.
You don’t need it.
If there’s no RUG then it can’t be pulled from underneath you.
Bills are still going to drop on the doormat.
There are still going to be bad days at work.
And the man in your life is still going to do things that don’t feel good.
The difference is you don’t have to worry now that everything’s going to go wrong.
You can choose NOT to attach meaning to what’s happened.
As for me I’m going to start saying ‘I feel on top of the world’!