bluecloudheartsmall95.jpgby Sarah

Do any of us actually ever get free of a man we once loved?

I don’t think so. Not if he carried some important memories, not if he was the most passionate man you were ever with, not if he made your heart go flip flop, not if you think – “If Only I’d known….” something you didn’t know then that would have made the relationship work.

Not if you still think about him. And definitely not, if, like mine, he still inhabits your dreams – where you have no control.

My “If Only…” happened so long ago, and though I can see why that NEVER would have worked, no matter what I knew or what I’d done or what I’d said or what I might have managed not to do or say, there he is, still, in my dreams.

He shows up as this God sometimes (he’s always lovely to me, never hurts me, always brings me messages of safety and love that take me to a better place in the dream – but he’s still there).

I’ve stopped feeling guilty when I wake up to my real man in my real time, fresh from a dream image of my onetime man.

I’ve even stopped trying not to feel GOOD about the whole thing.

Write me about how YOU deal with your flashes about an ex.


1 Comment

  1. karin on February 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    empty but know its for the best….

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