Today, I’m going to tell you a secret.

by Evan Marc Katz

  • It’s a secret that will get more men to write to you online.
  • It’s a secret that will get higher quality men to write to you online.
  • It’s a secret that will inspire those same men to write better emails.

That’s how powerful today’s post is going to be.

I’m going to give you the formula to writing a unique, compelling, one-of-a-kind online dating profile that attracts the men you want to meet, and since I’ve written more profiles than anyone on the planet, I want you to pay very close attention.

But before I do, I want to tell you why I feel so strongly about this subject.

In 2002, I was working in JDate customer service, taking questions over the phone. People may have called to complain about a lost password or an Internet Explorer issue, but really, they were calling to complain that online dating wasn’t working for them. When I looked into the details of their accounts, the reasons were obvious – meaning, you didn’t have to be an expert to pick up on them.

  • Some people had unflattering photos.
  • Some people were emailing 30 strangers an hour.
  • Some people hadn’t logged in for two weeks.
  • But the primary reason that most people struggled to connect online was because their online dating profiles were generic.

Your first reaction might be: “But guys only care about the photos!”

Not true. Not true at all.

While a man will not write to you unless he finds you attractive, presuming he finds 200 women attractive, what is going to compel him to contact YOU?

That’s right. Your profile.

And if your profile is a laundry list of adjectives, hobbies, favorite travel spots, bands, and TV shows, you haven’t really distinguished yourself from anyone else.

It’s not that you are lying about being “fun, down-to-earth, and generous,” but rather, if every other woman says the exact same thing, your profile has no potency.

You may be unique, but your profile certainly is not.

This is the reason that I started e-Cyrano profile writing in 2003.

It was my first business – the one that first got me on CNN – and it’s helped thousands of women just like you attract higher quality men online.

And before you check out e-Cyrano, I wanted to do what I always do: give you the best free dating advice anywhere on the internet.

What I’m about to share with you are the very same tips I’ve taught to the pro writers who work at e-Cyrano, some of whom have been with me for 15 years.

I’ll keep it brief, because I know your time is valuable:

1. Eliminate all adjectives, lists and cliches.

“Attractive, intelligent, independent, playful, ambitious, caring” – GONE.

“Good friends, good food, good wine” – GONE.

“I’ve been to Spain, Australia, Indonesia, and hope to go to Antarctica” – GONE.

“I work hard and I play hard,” “I look young for my age,” “I’m equally comfortable in a little black dress as I am in jeans and a T-shirt” – GONE

If anyone else can write it, it’s not doing you much good.

2. Replace your adjectives and hobbies with STORIES. Your stories are different than everyone else’s stories. That’s why your profile will be different, too.

3. Make sure your stories have these three components:

Specific and finite.

A story takes place at one time.

“I like hiking” is not a story. “I love singing karaoke” is not a story. “I do sweet things for the guy I love” is not a story.

A story is a snapshot of an individual action at a single moment in time.

“I ran a 5k in a vampire’s costume to raise $4200 for my boyfriend’s mother’s breast cancer foundation.”

That’s a story.

Funny, interesting, and memorable.

Imagine I told you this story: “I went to Ralph’s and bought a box of Cheerios on Sunday morning.”

Is it specific and finite? Absolutely. Is it a good story? Absolutely not.

A good story isn’t merely a fact; it’s what happened on top of the fact.

What happened on your big hike? What happened when you were singing karaoke?

If nothing memorable happened, it’s not much of a story.

He doesn’t care that you save the whales. He doesn’t care that you do yoga 4 times a week. He doesn’t care that your favorite movie is “The Notebook.”

All he cares about is this: “What do I get out of dating her?”

So when you’re telling your stories, make sure that you’re writing for your target audience: men.

If you want to highlight that you’re generous, tell a story about how you were generous with a boyfriend.

If you want to highlight that you’re smart, tell a story that illustrates how a man you dated benefited from your intelligence.

He doesn’t want to know what your hobbies are; he wants to know why you’re a great girlfriend and what his life will look like when dating you.

This is my BEST profile writing advice – the very stuff that has helped women like you fall in love, get married, and start families.

Evan Marc Katz is a dating coach who specializes in helping smart, strong, successful women understand and connect with men. He has over 24 million blog readers, over 150,000 newsletter subscribers, and thousands of satisfied clients who find his take on relationships to be enlightening, entertaining and empowering. It wasn’t until Katz took his own wisdom that he met his future wife – and became a much better dating coach in the process. By opening up to a new kind of partner, Katz proved that to get different results in love, you have to make different choices. “I had to make fifteen years of dating mistakes before I finally figured out how to have a happy relationship. I believe firmly that the road to success is paved with failure, and since I’d failed so prolifically and ultimately found my own way, I feel uniquely qualified to help others have success in love.”

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