attractionby Christian Carter

There’s a secret that men never happen to mention about what a man wants in a woman, why he dates, what it means for him to have a relationship, and what makes him feel attraction for a certain woman. Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a healthy relationship with a man and keep him, this little secret is causing a lot of pain and frustration.

The secret is that most men do WANT a relationship with an amazing woman, BUT men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about one hundred other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to. They’ll only end up emotionally involved and not resisting a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.

What Makes A Man Feel Attraction For You?

A man wants a woman who will make him feel better when he’s with her than he does in his everyday life as a single man. The reality is that when a man says one of these, “I want my freedom” statements, such as, “I want to be alone,” he actually has an ideal woman in mind who understands who he is and won’t make it feel like “work” when he’s with her. A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship, instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry, and “fix” things.

The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY WANTS is a woman who makes him feel more of the emotional and physical response I like to call ATTRACTION, and less of the worry and confusion that men don’t often like, or know how to deal with what comes from “working” on a serious relationship. For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level is the definition of a good relationship. Of course, I’m not just talking about the common “short term” kind of attraction that’s mostly physical. You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more than just this kind of thing to really work and LAST.

I’m also talking about the more “long term” kind of attraction that comes from a deeper emotional connection and understanding. A man wants a woman who makes him feel great, both when he’s with her, AND when he’s alone. In other words, a man wants a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time. Most men either can’t describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of connection and attraction with a woman, or they don’t want to have to describe it to a woman because they want a woman who ALREADY is those things, without having to learn them.

How to Make Attraction Last

Think about it. If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, “Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn…” or would you want one that already knew how to protect and defend at anytime, anywhere without having to “learn?” Duh.

The same goes with men. They don’t want a woman they have to “train.” The last thing a man wants to do is to take a woman who doesn’t “naturally” understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work.

If you don’t already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you “get” all these things, then no amount of “talking things through” or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with. Understanding a man, and connecting through natural attraction is the key to a lasting relationship — what he will want is you.

Note From Sarah: Another insightful piece from Christian Carter full of advice on how what type of a woman men want. Be sure to stop by his website for more tips on attraction.


  1. Mel B on September 29, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Awesome share! Thanks! :)

  2. Liz on March 21, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Very helpful

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