by Linda Landon
A client is sitting at the edge of her chair, exclaiming, “I need this promotion!” Her voice is high pitched and strained, and she grabs onto the arms of the chair.
I invite her to pause and sense what she is experiencing. At first she is blank; then she realizes that she is trying to hold herself upright, as if she might topple over.
She feels a clutching in her belly, a shortness of breath, and the onset of a headache.
She says that thoughts are stampeding through her head.
Here’s what we do:
I ask her to allow herself to relax into the support of the chair, and imagine having the promotion.
In moments her whole demeanor changes; her face relaxes, a smile appears, and she sighs.
She describes how much she appreciates her work – and all her accomplishments – and realizes that the thought “I need this promotion” has been preventing it from happening.
“Oh,” she says, “Getting this promotion can be easy!”
A week later she receives a promotion – and a raise.
My client experienced a taste of a process I recently learned from The Release® Technique: How to let go of need and allow oneself to have.
As my readers know, for many years I’ve been coaching clients on how to release “the Tyranny of Trying” – the belief that effort can produce desired results.
They’ve seen that “trying” usually has the opposite effect, and can produce struggle, tension, and an on-going sense of failure.
When they let go of trying, they experience more energy and clarity, and easily achieve the results they had been struggling for.
Now I am teaching my clients a way to let go of a subtle layer that lies beneath the tyranny of trying – the layer of lack. Lester Levenson and Larry Crane, founders of The Release® Technique, propose that wanting something implies that we don’t have it.
Similarly, don Miguel Ruiz states in The Four Agreements, “Your word is very, very powerful.”
What we think or say creates our reality.
So, if we think that we need or want something (for instance, more clients), we’re actually declaring that we lack that thing – and the universe responds by giving us more lack. In other words, we actually push away what we want!
The solution is to focus on having, as if it’s already done.
This shift can be easy. Let me show you how:
Next time you experience yourself saying “I want” or “I need”…
1. Pause….. Notice what you’re experiencing in your body and your mind.
Do you feel any tension arising in your arms, legs, shoulders?
Are your thoughts calm or racing around, trying to find a solution?
2. Pause again, sense the support of the surface underneath you, and focus on your breathing.
3. Now, imagine yourself having exactly what you’ve said you want.
Picture it in your mind, smell it, taste it, and experience it as fully as you can.
Notice what happens inside your body and mind.
Does anything relax, shift or change in any way?
4. Now let go of the image and give yourself some appreciation for taking time to pause and bask in the experience of having.
Practice first with something that feels “do-able” and see what happens!
From Sarah: Linda is an amazing coach, and we love her book “The Power of Pause” – here’s a short tip:
How to use the Power of Pause, starting today:
• Before you get out of bed in the morning, spend one minute appreciating yourself.
• If you have to make a difficult phone call, pause, set an intention for a positive outcome, and then pick up the phone.
• Next time you drive home, take a totally new route.
• Take a walk, stopping to listen to what’s around you.
To check out more about the work Linda does around The Power of Pause and The Release Technique, just go here–>>