by Christian Cdatearter

I’m sure it comes as no news to you that a man can be doing all the things that say he’s interested in you on every date, but still say he’s not ready for a relationship or “anything serious.”

It’s one of those things that drive women crazy.

What’s worse, he can do all kinds of things with you from hanging out to getting physical, but he won’t communicate what he’s really feeling… until after he decides things “aren’t working”.

Frustrating, right?

You didn’t even get the chance to know or talk about what was going on inside his head.

How in the world did he think things were supposed to end up working? Were you supposed to read his mind!?

The problem is that women try to read TOO much into their early interactions with men, which then leads them to think that after the first few dates, they’re in what I call the “instant relationship.”

“When a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he’s interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good connection with you on date #1.”

That means women often think they’re in a relationship with a man when he’s still feeling things out and probably doesn’t have “relationship” anywhere on his radar. So what IS he thinking on those first few dates? Here’s the deal.

What The Second Date and Third Date Mean to a Man

third dateWhen a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he’s interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good connection with you on date #1.

It doesn’t mean that he necessarily wants to be “exclusive” or is thinking “serious relationship.” He’s still just getting to know you.

He’s enjoying your company, having fun, and starting to wonder about you.

Meanwhile, you’re already thinking ahead to the next few months when this is the ONLY man you’re seeing and things are “serious.”

What He’s Thinking On A Date

You’ve already made a decision about this guy, and you don’t even know him that well yet. All you’re doing is going by your “gut feeling” and the chemistry you feel when you’re with him.

So you start acting on that “feeling” and you begin to make certain assumptions about what’s going on between you.

This can send a really bad “vibe” to a guy, especially when you assume you’re going to be seeing each other every weekend, when you express your annoyance with him when he doesn’t call you more often, and when you assume a monogamous relationship instead of actually discussing it, then get furious with him when you discover he’s still dating other women.

This is when a guy will pull away, sometimes for good. And you’re left wondering, “What happened?!”

See what I mean about the dangers of “instant relationship thinking?” I don’t want you to be in that situation, which is why I wrote my eBook Catch Him and Keep Him.

As soon as you download it, you can start reading what guys really think about the whole dating process – from what makes them ask you out in the first place to what keeps them thinking about you and wanting to see you again and again, all the way to a REAL COMMITMENT.

From the Editors: You can try out Christian’s great ebook – Catch Him And Keep Him – with a completely Risk Free 7-day Trial. You’ll learn how to see dating through a man’s mind instead of thinking you’re in an instant relationship, which means you can stop yourself from jumping to conclusions and getting hurt. Get Christian’s free newsletters here, and learn what your man’s thinking on a date->


  1. nr on March 1, 2011 at 5:01 am

    Hi I would like to say that you assume that all women think that a 3rd date is somthing serious. I would like to say that I have just started internet dating, meeting/dating many men (not sleeping with) and I have been out with a few 2 or 3 times and I dont think its anything serious as I feel that I am just datig them to get to know them. The second time I wnet out with one guy I couldn’t stand him after that 2nd date. One asked me out again now for the 3rd time and I do not think in my head thats its an instant realtionship and to read that women think its more and that we have all these plans with them is a bit nuts! I still think to myself that I would like to know this guy more and thats it. I am a woman and I dont think I am in a realtionship with this guy just bec he asked me on a 3rd date. I say how can you know someone after the 2nd or 3rd date to call him your boyfriend or to be in a realtionship with him.

  2. Bno Hin on May 31, 2011 at 6:13 am

    If all u are looking for is dating then you shld be happy but if you are I think looking something for more then find the one you like and work at making it into something serious other wise you are a shallow non-committing female which most of the time you guys always like to say we men are!

  3. marie on July 7, 2011 at 8:10 am

    Hi im marie after what nr said i think she is right i have been on so many dates as well no one seem to be serious at the begining i was just getting to know them some are really nice however when you think they interested you wana spend more time with them thats when they stop calling or replying the text its so hard to believe how men are in real i meet this guy i though thiers something real between us so on the second date and third we had sex i never had a good guy to take care of my feels that the first time i have been so easy when i losed my virginity it was more to be more confident coz most guys seem to be just after sex then i started to think that maybe sex is important for a guy to start a relationship now after 3 months nothing changed

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