what does a man really meanby Christian Carter

Let me answer the question: “What does a man really mean when he says…” by “decoding” what men “really” mean when they say common things. Consider this your own personal “male language translator”. Refer to it often.

WHEN A MAN SAYS … “I don’t want a serious relationship right now.” WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…”I only want a relationship with a woman who already has her act together, is attractive, healthy, independent, easy-going, confident, and who is emotionally in control of herself and her own life. When we’re together I want her to share her feelings and challenge and inspire me to keep her love and interest, and to be a great man. But I also want her to know how to do this without trying to change me or turning our relationship into more work and less fun than I can have on my own.”

Does this make sense? Again, he’s not imagining a picture of an overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is trying to get him to connect with her and sharing her feelings because she’s so worried about things “working out.” Big difference.

What Does A Man Really Mean By “Independent Woman?”

WHEN A MAN SAYS …”I want an independent woman.” WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS…”I want a woman who doesn’t get upset about petty things and who knows how to keep her head when things get tough or confusing. But, I also want her to be in touch with her feelings so that she doesn’t repress her emotions and end up more frustrated and resentful of me. When she’s alone and intimate with me, she’s open and ‘present,’ and she’ll share her love and affection freely.”

What a man is NOT doing is making a picture of a passive woman whose entire mood and state of mind is dependent on what she thinks is the state of her relationship and what it means that a man did or said something.

How Can Women Know What A Man Really Means?

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS… “I want a guy who’s a good communicator.” WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS…”I want a guy who doesn’t talk all the time, because he knows how to let me know what’s on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand, not crudely and overly aggressive.”

Women have their own interpretation of “good communicator,” just like men have their own interpretation of “independent woman.” It’s important to understand what men REALLY mean when they say things.

Note From The Editor:
Christian Carter is great at helping you understand men – just get his free newsletters here, and learn more answers to your questions about “What does a man really mean when he says…”


  1. jamie on September 9, 2014 at 7:37 am

    What does a man mean when he says he doesn’t want to be selfish in his relationship and he doesn’t want another man to get what he has

  2. kathy on September 22, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Why do men if they are with a woman every time he gets something for the house always say you like my washer I got me are my ref are bed. Its like I am a ghost here he never says ours Why. Am I wasting my time with him

  3. Carrie on October 7, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    What does a man mean when he says he’s not in love with anyone? That his heart is cold and not open to a relationship right now because he has so much he needs to do to change himself. That he needs to get that done before he’s ready for a relationship? That he has a hard time even opening up to his family members and children? I should mention he is an alcoholic.

  4. Jodi on February 7, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    What does it mean if you ask a guy would he be with you if you were burnt up And he replies he’s with you now

  5. Jodi on February 7, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    Burnt up ( meaning physically disfigured by a fire)

  6. Gromire on February 9, 2015 at 11:08 am

    @carrie it sounds like he’s hurt or distrusting of some one just from being a man I can tell he feels defensiveness when talking about a subject such as love. Also saying he’s alcoholic is like if some one accused you of being a shopaholic that is to say while it is debilitating and detrimental it is not definite proof of anything other then a crutch one may use to deal with said pain. I hope this helps you please have a nice day .

  7. Ck on April 16, 2015 at 2:43 am

    What do it mean when u asked your guy about going to counseling he agreed then backs out

  8. Kaylee on April 17, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    what does it mean when a guy says you make his life easier

  9. JB on May 5, 2015 at 7:22 am

    What does mean when man say he love you but don’t know how to love you over 12 year of married

  10. Rikke on May 14, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    I work with This guy and Said in a fun Way “you cant have” but still flirts, i do have have to mention there are ethic rule, how to see through if he means it seriously or???? Confused

  11. Lamisise on June 11, 2015 at 11:03 pm

    What does it mean when my boyfriend says I’m in his head and embedded in his heart and he wants me forever. He has never said anything about his feelings before so kinda don’t know what to think.

  12. Maria on July 8, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    What does it mean when a guy says we both could fall in love with each other but he don’t want a relationship he just wants friends with benfits?

  13. christina on July 27, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    If yall have to ask from a website what the meanings of guys are then yall really dunno the guy your with so maybe you shouldn’t be with him. If you love him you should find a way to figure out question by asking him or watching his ways not by some webpage. I’m thinking about making a website for girls so I can give them advice. Should I? Email me if you think I should

  14. Lila on September 12, 2015 at 4:45 am

    What does it mean if a man say.”I saw your heart, great time all around last night.

  15. Val on September 17, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    What does it mean when I tells you please no more texts?

  16. katherine on September 24, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    What does he mean when he asks if u love him an u say love is a big word an he says he just being stupid

  17. Anna on November 7, 2015 at 8:05 am

    What does it mean when my boyfriend says “I am devoted to you in so many beautiful ways??”

  18. sudeshna on November 13, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    I proposed a boy and in reply he said “I respect ur emotions” what does this mean?? After this I kept on waiting and now I want him to say it up whatever is going on inside him
    He is not replying….
    pls help me in this matter

  19. Dj on November 28, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Just started seeing this guy for a month and two weeks ago he said that he is having personal issues and he doesn’t think he candle juggle a relationship right now but know I am a special women who he would like to get together in the future if I am still single. What does he mean I’m trying to figure out if he does like me or if he wants me gone. I told him I want to be friends and he said he’s up for that and he keeps calling me on the phone. Plz help

  20. Katie on December 26, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    What does it mean when you go somewhere with a guy and he squirms when asked if the two of you are a couple?

  21. Sarah on December 29, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    Katie, though I’m not a relationship expert, I know Dominique would say there are many possibilities – and that the obvious one is that he’s not “that into you” and that you should be Circular Dating! Sarah

  22. Doreen on January 21, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    What does an older guy mean when he says “I will always be your friend, if friendship is what you want”.

    He said this in an e-mail and when I asked for him to explain he ignored it. I am sort of interested in this guy, but keep using the word friend for fear of being rejected. I have said a couple things where he as commented I’m romancing him and he thinks it’s sweet and he’s flattered.

    He is a Cancer and divorced 2 years.

  23. Carol Arndt on March 10, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    I had a man tell me after 3 years of misleading me (long distance) Im sorry for u wanting me more than I want you. I find that to be cruel though honest. Yet at the same time telling me his insanely sexual interest in me will never change!! What a jerk!!!

  24. lauren on May 16, 2016 at 6:39 am

    what does a man means when he tells you my kind of interest

  25. Kate on July 21, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    I just started seeing a man who is 52, I’m 43. He seems real shy and we’ve been on 3 dates and scheduled for 4th. He has not made any moves on me or even really made any comments of attraction towards me. I asked him for the first date and he has asked for all the others. He opens the door for me and I’ve also met some very important people in his family already. We always parted at end of the night with a hug. I’m not sure if he is interested in a relationship or friendship. We never talk on phone and he occasionally txt me. I don’t want to presuit him relationship wise if he only wants a friendship and I dont want to be too forward if he just wants to take it slow. I’ve offered to pay my way, but he always refuses. I am confused by his responses. Am I being too impatient?

  26. cara bloomfield on July 25, 2016 at 4:10 am

    What does it mean after you try to end a relationship and he says that I was to fast last time but that next time with you he wants to take each day as it comes as he wants to do things right

  27. Anne Peralta on June 25, 2017 at 2:18 am

    Not good we had are night going to have leave it at that. I have meet Ken at zombie appoalcolypse and he worked country USA
    I said he could spend the night and he did
    And he just wants to be friends and nothing more but I’m in love with I don’t want to push him

  28. herbertswarts on June 27, 2017 at 1:48 am

    I am healthy wealthy and have a college education. I have had several great times with a 56 year old single mother who has three children. I am 86 , retired, travel, enjoy night life, act like I am frisky and have had several “lets see how things go” encounters because women wanted to change me.. Now I am going tory again.

  29. vivian on December 28, 2017 at 7:43 am

    What does a man mean when he calls a lady his pulse

  30. Penelope Malcolm on February 13, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    Christian, I’m sorry man, but that may be what YOU mean. It certainly isn’t what any guy I’ve ever met, dated or ended up marrying EVER meant. I’ve never met a man that was anywhere near that deep, and I don’t mean that to be insulting. It’s just my personal experience.

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