Do you think your relationship is over? Have you been here before? Wondering? Fretting? Scared?
First of all how do you know? Can you really know?
What if you are pretty sure you’ve made a mistake with him, and now you think it’s maybe too late to salvage the relationship let alone get him back if he’s bolted, seemingly for good this time.
Or maybe the mistake was being with him at all?
What if he’s waffling, not really stepping up? What if the not so good seems to be outweighing the good in too many areas? Do you still want him?
What if what once was great is not so much anymore?
What if you’re afraid to let go? In case things change back? How will you even be able to find another?
So the thoughts and the questions spin in your brain endlessly. He’s a good man, but…….I hate that he does…….I can’t stand it when he says…….I love him, yet…….We used to…….I miss…….Maybe if I talk to him one more time…….We’ve been together for so long, how can I be alone again…….Or get accustomed to another…….Would another man even want me…….and on and on…….
And your insecurities run rampant. But you’ve been working on yourself for a long time, and you do manage to pull yourself together, kind of, clear your mind of your gremlins, sort of, and you are still left with this dilemma. What do you do? Are you really done? If no, then what? If yes, then what?
Should You Stay in the Relationship, or Should You Go?
The answers of course lie within, and what you decide is ultimately up to you.
The crucial piece here is to look at the things that really bother you, get to you, maybe hurt you, and you and only you can decide if any of these things are true deal breakers.
I suggest you think very deeply about this though. I also do not recommend making any hasty decisions, not until you have looked even more deeply inside to see what it is within you which needs healing.
People, especially intimate partners, come into your life for a very good reason.
Or rather you attract them in order to heal something within you.
And you will keep attracting these same elements over and over again even if the person you are now with seems to be completely different (he really isn’t, not fundamentally) than the last man. UNTIL YOU DO HEAL. OR NOT.
The universe is infinitely patient, and she will hit you over the head with your lessons forever more until you finally wake up and decide enough is enough. It’s time to heal this in you.
The only way to know what to do is to look inside you, be with you, nourish you, allow you to flourish.
If you decide that these things in your man are deal breakers, then you need to get on with your life which if not already full of things which fill you up, then you need to go and find those people and things that do. You need to take very good, gentle, and patient care of you.