by Rori Raye
Here’s a letter from Joanne, who’s confused by a relationship and a man she likes – he’s hot and cold and comes toward her and then goes away, AND they’ve been broken up for 4 months. If this sounds familiar, after my answer you’ll see that Joanne solves it all herself!
My co-worker/friend and I dated for 10 mos. We broke up 4 mos ago. He talks to me all the time at work but never calls me outside of work unless I call first. I miss him and love him. He seems like he still likes me and everyone thinks we are dating.. It drives me crazy. How do I find out if he still likes me and if we still have a chance of being together? Please, please help..
Relationship Advice for Joanne:
Joanne, please stop thinking about him.
I know this is hard.
Please, please START DATING OTHER MEN THIS MINUTE.
If you have my programs and read my posts and eletters, you know the worst thing you can ever do for yourself is to become exclusive with ANY man, at any time before you are officially engaged.
I know this sounds challenging, but you MUST stick to this rule of Circular Dating.
This man is now only a friend, and the only way you could ever re-interest him is to treat him like a friend, get out there and DATE (not to make him jealous – but to change your own VIBE into the Siren you really are).
Pining after this man is only making you less and less attractive by the minute. Can you see where I’m going here?
You can do this…I know you can, because I hear about the relationship success of doing it this way all the time…
Now See How Things Work Out For Joanne In The Relationship World:
Dear Rori, Thank you for your great advice. While it is sometimes hard to hear it is what it is- The truth. I met a man 7 months ago that turned my world upside down. He was everything I wanted and we shared so much.
Both enjoying being together and creating together since we are both artistic. It was magical something I had not felt before and after 3 months he did what you have heard a million times. He loves me, he wants me but is not ready to commit and does not think he can.
I was set to move to another city and state for work – and, instead, I chose to stay for him, for us.
It is probably why he was so attracted at the beginning and I saw something different. My mistake that I am correcting now.
I am moving next week and I am not doubting that he will turn around, as I am now being difficult!
Not actually being “difficult,” but learning that I matter first and knowing I want more than what he is offering.
The strength I will find as I put my life without him back together will be my gift to me.
You are right we need to circular date, I have always done that and never had any lack of suitors who would do anything for me but where is love in this game?
The love is within, something I had to relearn and in relationship is where we learn the most about us. Such a beautiful lesson in a perfect disguise.
A heart given is a beautiful and precious gift and any man who does not see that is a fool and fools are not available.
Not every man is a fool that is what I learned from you and circular dating but I have been the fool when I ran across the one who was available, the one who did not play the game but just gave his heart.
Yes, I had to see through looking through the eyes of others and yet I am angry when the one I love has to see me in the same way. Love is not hard it is just misunderstood.
Thank you for reminding me that I am as much the problem as the solution. Your recent e-mail hit home. Eternally Grateful, Joanne
From Sarah: Rori’s got such powerful relationship advice, and her Have The Relationship You Want ebook is always the first place I go when I need help. Her stuff works. She’s got simple but incredible free tools to use to strengthen your confidence, joy and self-esteem and attract the kind of man you want in your life. Check her out, get her free newsletters, and get what you want from your relationship!