by Editor Sarah
Here’s a relationship letter from a man – and I felt so moved to reply, we decided to publish it all as a post for you:
“I can only speak for myself, but as a man who has withdrawn from several women and from the dating game and the idea of relationship entirely; the answer is pretty simple.
I don’t like jumping through hoops or walking on eggshells. I’m easy going and follow the path of least resistance. I love freedom and no amount of sex or intimacy is worth losing it.
I’ve always been honest about the fact that I’m not monogamous and consider a relationship to be temporary. Yet every time I ever had sex with someone other than my girlfriend, I was still made to feel guilty.
I simply got tired of being made to feel that way. I don’t enjoy being called a cheater when I never took any vows to begin with. Eventually I just got tired of it all.
Now things are different. I haven’t had sex in years, nor do I anticipate having sex ever again. I do get lonely as any normal human would, but that’s ok. I am able to deal with it and consider it a small price to pay in order to be free from accusations such as this.
This is just one of the many examples of why I left the game entirely and every man is unique but it is always for a reason.
And in my case (as well as the case of many other men, I suspect), it’s simply coming to terms with the realization that I simply do not naturally have the characteristics that women find appealing.
And then once realizing that, deciding to no longer pretend otherwise; because it really doesn’t matter anyway.”
Here’s My Instinctive Relationship Reply:
OMG Chaz – This is “Editor” Sarah – you sound so sad…
Though I honor your honesty and the straightforward way you’ve lived your romantic life – I so wish you’d reconsider your position.
Surely you have many qualities a woman would want – you once had girlfriends.
And, most important – relationship is about love, companionship, friendship, fun… not just sex.
I wish you’d consider talking with a counselor, or reading some of the books for men about relationship and intimacy on the web.
Most men find that – at some point in their lives – sacrificing sexual “freedom” for commitment to one woman and the intimacy that’s possible with that commitment to is well worth the bargain.
Relationships are emotional…and women will always be emotional.
That’s what makes us so profoundly interesting and alluring and why you men need us – to supply emotion.