husbandIf you’re saying to yourself that you still want a relationship with your ex or estranged husband, there’s help out there to find ways to get him back.

If your relationship ended because he did something stupid there’s a chance he still has feelings for you, too.

If that something stupid was a misunderstanding that snowballed out of control and the only way out for the both of you was to break up, then just ask for an apology and forgive him.

If both of you need to apologize then all you have to do is to be the bigger person and make that first apology.

Another way to begin to get your husband back is to use all the tech things we have available to us today to contact him in ways that work.

If you do not want to talk to him in person or by phone –  or feel too embarrassed, hurt, angry and confused – then email or text him. This way you get to take your time to formulate what you want to say.

If he responds at all – then you’re off and running. Set up a place to meet, have lunch or coffee and just talk.

Do NOT get into anything heavy about what went wrong within your relationship, just talk and keep things friendly.

If Your Husband Needs to Change, So Do You

While you’re apart though, it would be a good idea to try to improve yourself in some way.

This could be anything from taking up real hobbies, discovering more of your world by volunteering, traveling, investigating all KINDS of new things from sports to photography to classes in things that will broaden your interests – and ESPECIALLY getting into your psychology.

YOU can do that in therapy, in spiritual classes, in psychology classes, in groups, in coaching and workshops – if you discover more of who YOU are – you’ll find that when you’re interacting with your husband – you’ll FEEL differently.

And not only will YOU feel differently – your “vibe” will be different.

He’ll relate to you differently.

You won’t be pretending, or trying to create a discussion in the old ways that didn’t work between you – instead – you’ll be trying out new things you’ve learned or even just seen!

Once your husband sees you’ve made some changes in the way you approach him and your life in general – he’ll see you “fresh.”

Not only that – you’ll likely INSPIRE him to do the same!

He may even ask for tips on how you’re making the changes you are making.

Even if he doesn’t ask you anything that leads to a discussion – you’ll STILL have WAY more things to talk about. You most certainly will find NEW things to talk about – and perhaps even discover that you’re both interested in things you never ever knew you were both interested in!

He may even say to himself  “I am still in love with my ex and want to explore the possibility of getting back together.”

Leaving a marriage is really the last thing anyone wants to do.  A man may “think” he has good reason to end your marriage – and YOU may “think” you had good reason to end it – but once you’ve invested yourself for so long with someone – it’s much, much more likely to want to STAY with what you’ve got.

Especially if it feels BETTER and CLOSER than it did!

When you want to get your husband back, or at least interested in re-kindling your relationship,  it can be very helpful to consider what went wrong WITHOUT trying to fix “blame” on one of you.

It’s just as bad to blame yourself as it is to blame him.

You simply want to “own” 100% responsibility for how things went downhill, find out how it started downhill, and learn – as quickly as you can – how to STOP things from going downhill ever again.

This may mean learning how to deal with anger before it consumes you.

And it may mean learning how to communicate your real feelings instead of sweeping them under the rug.

Even though we all are so tempted to make it all someone’s fault (and it’s so easy for us to punish him, and punish ourselves, too) – it doesn’t work!

This isn’t about whose fault it was, it’s about finding the solutions to the problems that led to the break up of your marriage in the first place. Once you’ve done that – the rest can fall into place pretty easily.

Even If You Think Your Husband Was to Blame …

No matter who was mostly at fault, you both made some mistakes and can benefit from making some changes.

This is the best way to start. It can allow you to not only get back with your ex husband – but also have a much better chance of making things work longterm. It can make you both more mindful of the other’s feelings.

It is also very important for you to spend time doing the things you like to do and spending time with the people you enjoy spending time with.

All of this will allow you some breathing room and time to deal with your own issues. It will also make the time seem to go a little faster while you’re making changes.

It doesn’t matter what method you use. It only matters that you become WILLING to look at the hard things – the reasons things didn’t work – and commit to fixing them this time.

If you really love him and want your husband back, and you commit yourself to learning what you need to do on YOUR end to re-create a heartfelt, harmonious, fun marriage – it can be much stronger this time around.

You make it almost certain that you’ll find him saying that he’s still in love with you, too.

He most likely still is in love with you – and wants the marriage back as much as you do – but, because men need respect (from you and from themselves) he may not be willing to admit it until you’re able to stop the blame and anger and re-do how you relate with each other.

If YOU can bring the “emotional safety” and fun back into your moments with him – without trying to discuss your relationship all the time – but just re-kindle the fun – he’ll quickly start feeling safe enough to open up to you and let the love flow again.

So, you’re probably wishing you could just change some things about your husband. And you’ve probably heard that it’s impossible to change anyone. But Jeffrey Mark Levine has news for you, because he’s found a fast and effective way to change the dynamic in your relationship and get more of what you need from your husband!

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