To Flirt, Or Not To Flirt

Here’s a question I get often:“I’m wondering how many of you out there consider flirting cheating? what are your thoughts and/or opinions on this . . . ?”

by Michael Fiore

Great question with a complicated answer, so here we go in handy numbered form:

1. Personally I think that STOPPING flirting with other people (at least in a playful way) is downright deadly to a relationship.

I deal with a LOT of men and women every day who talk about how “dead” they feel sexually and emotionally after a few months or a few years together . . .

How they just don’t feel attractive to the opposite sex anymore.

Or how they feel suffocated by having to shut that flirty, fun, sparkly side of their personality down.

And relying on just one person to appreciate you emotionally and physically while denying that kind of energy from everybody else can really be toxic.

2. That said, there are pretty big limits on what’s “acceptable” flirting and what’s just plain dumb.

Personally, I’m a huge flirt (which is probably pretty obvious.)

And even though I’m in a committed (and awesome) relationship, I have no problem at all commenting on how beautiful a female friend of mine looks, or sharing a moment of attraction and playful tension with a woman.

My girlfriend isn’t bothered by this because . . .

A. She knows 110% how I feel about her, how I lust after her, how much I love her.

B. I make it totally apparent that when I’m “flirting” it’s just a game and I’m not actually trying to seduce a girl.

C. She’s secure enough to know that the fact that I’m a guy who other women want to in some way flirt with actually reflects REALLY well on her.

The same goes the other way, by the way.

When I catch another guy checking out my girlfriend, I don’t freak out about it like a jealous beast . . . I just kind of smile because I know I’ve got a beautiful, sexy woman in my life and I know she’s coming home with me.

Not a big deal if you don’t make it a big deal.

A little advice:

As a guy I can tell you this: If you freak out every time the man in your life playfully flirts with another woman you’re actually pushing him away and doing deadly damage to your intimacy and love.

To summarize:

* Confidence is sexy. If you aren’t bothered by some light flirting it will actually draw your man more to you.

* Light flirting (as long as you’re not actually trying to seduce somebody) is actually a great way to bring more energy into a relationship and to remind both of you that you’re hot, attractive, awesome people.

* Chill out =-)

(Of course there’s “flirting” and there’s “FLIRTING.”

A smile, a touch of the hand or a hug is one thing; pulling out the big guns to try to seduce a girl while you stand angry in the corner is entirely another.)

Here’s another question I get: “What are some sexy responses for when a guy texts you ‘what would you do if you were here right now?'”

Oooo . . . a good one.

I’m going to try to keep this pretty PG because some folks are offended by the juicy stuff.

BUT . . .

Try any one of these depending on what mood you’re in:

The “Submissive” Text . . .
>>>”Anything you want me to . . . anything =-)”

The “Tease” . . .
>>>”That would be telling . . . =-) It really depends how good you’ve been. Have you been good?”

The “I’m in control”
>>>”I’d make you sit there with your arms by your sides. You’d have to watch me as I slowly stripped off my skirt. Your eyes
glued to me . . .”

Of course there’s a LOT more. Some of this is going to go in Text The Romance Back 2.0, so look out for it.


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