Have you ever heard it said about a great guy, “He will never settle down!” or “He’s a bachelor for life”?
Of course, all the “great guys” are commitment-phobic, right? They know they’re hot, successful, and everything a man should be so they never want to settle down. They’re having way too much fun to be chained down.
Well I say that is BS!
Men DO want commitment. They do want to fall in love. And they do want to propose to you, yes you!
But here’s the problem: your instincts are probably pushing you in the wrong direction. In fact, every other woman he’s seeing (or thinking about) is making the same mistake you are.
It’s a common mistake that a lot of women make. But from now on you’re going to do a complete 360 and change your attitude.
And in doing so, you’re going to win his heart and get him to do the unthinkable. Yes, get him to fall in love, propose and embrace commitment.
Sound impossible? Just give it a chance!
Men Want to Play the Field, Right?
Now’s the part where we talk about evolution and men needing to date multiple women to feel whole, right?
Wrong. Maybe for teenagers, college students or virgins, but the fact is most single men want sex—but they’re not necessarily the sex-crazed singular-minded animal that society has called them.
According to studies cited in Psychology Today, the sex drive of the average male is difficult to define because there is no collective consciousness of men, and they don’t all have the same sex drive.
They don’t even have the most superficial of appetites in common. Studies (by Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London) suggested men thought of “attractiveness” in a woman as involving far more factors than just the perfect hourglass figure.
In addition, studies showed that after men socially interacted with a woman, the importance of appearance diminished and attributes like personality, humor, core belief become part of the “attractiveness” that men seek.
Another study by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University suggested that subject men went into a speed dating event thinking appearance was the most important factor but then seemed to change their minds after meeting some of the women, strongly indicating that men don’t always know what they want in a woman.
In fact, subjects were very easily influenced by the “live interaction” of the moment, which seemed to overpower their original ideals of finding a “perfect woman” with specific qualities.
In other words, men crave the emotional experience as well as the sexual experience. Emotion and personal interaction enhance the sexual experience.
So for many men out there, when they “play the field”, all they’re actually doing is trying to find the perfect woman that they can’t seem to define just yet. They know she’s attractive…but other than that, they’re pretty confused.
Men are similar to women in at least one sense; that they don’t necessarily plan a list of qualities or factors to fall in love with…they wait for the right one to come along and blow them away.
They wait until “natural chemistry” happens and then let their heart run away with them.
This goes along with a study done by psychologist Joshua Ackerman of MIT who discovered that among male subjects, a whopping 60 to 70 percent of them (even among 20 and 30 year olds) said “I love you” to the women first.
On average, most of them thought about saying it six weeks before working up the courage to actually say it.
So men do fall in love and they do want commitment. There’s simply a miscommunication happening in most of these confused relationships.
So Why Do All the Men I Know Avoid Commitment?
Probably because he’s afraid at what a woman’s definition of “commitment” involves. He only knows what commitment is based on his previous relationships, none of which had anything to do with you. So most men are unfairly presuming your definition of commitment matches his ex-girlfriend’s definition of commitment.
So just assume his ex-girlfriend was a total psycho who emotionally scarred him and turned him off of the idea of a loving and trusting relationship.
And there you have most guys in a nutshell. This matches e-Harmony’s view that suggests most men are commitment phobic because of past relationship baggage. They are afraid of making the same mistakes.
But they are not afraid of attractive women…and most of them have not given up on the idea of finding true love.
I know what you’re thinking! “I’ve tried to tell him how I feel but he keeps pushing me away!”
Maybe he is sending you strong signals that he doesn’t want to have “the talk”.
What can you possibly do to let him know that you understand and that you’re not going to be like his ex, who soured his view of love and marriage?
Simply put here’s the answer: Become more feminine. Become a woman that he desires by instinct.
He Doesn’t Want More “Females”—He Wants a Real Woman!
A man doesn’t need a harem of females to be happy and frankly, having such a harem is probably more work and more money than he can afford. What he wants is a woman who will love him but not try to control him.
Controlling a man and attempting to change his personality is the first step in robbing a man of his masculinity and totally stomping out all the attraction he wants to feel towards you.
Most women make the mistake of trying to control their man and trying so hard to become the perfect “caretaker”, that they end up playing the male role. They become the provider, the dominant force in the relationship.
Now the man has nowhere to go…but far, far away!
If you really want a man to fall in love with you and propose (since he really is dying to say “I love you”) then the objective is to let him feel like a man.
Be a strong, feminine woman and don’t be afraid to let his instincts take over. He will be drawn to your energy and amazed at your power to get this reaction from him.
Regardless of where you are in the relationship right now, take these three steps to give him back his identity and his strong alpha male pride.
1. Never make him feel that his attraction to other women is forbidden. Encourage his honesty.
Looking at the beauty around us is the natural state of any healthy human being. And step one to breaking a man’s ego is to make him feel like his urges are shameful. It’s a terrible trait of codependence and it will make your man run like the wind. You should encourage his honesty, to let him feel “free” to share his thoughts and feelings.
This doesn’t mean you have to tolerate infidelity or let him disrespect you by making mean-spirited comparisons.
It simply means you are both in this relationship because you love and trust each another—because you have chosen each other despite the fact that you’re both very attractive to other people.
A real feminine woman does not need her husband to become sterile and whipped into submission. Encourage the lion to roar and let him take all of his raging libido out on you. He’ll love you all the more so for letting him feel in control of his sexuality.
2. Let him know that your relationship will be different from the one he and his ex had…and from his buddies and their girlfriends. Your relationship will be on your own terms.
A lot of men today actually fear commitment because they don’t like what has happened to their friends, or their parents, or other guys who are being controlled by their “better half.” They resent the idea of a woman playing the role of a man and “controlling” them or providing for them.
Right now they are scared of how being committed to you is going to change the dynamic of the relationship they currently are in. You must let them know that it’s not going to change…it’s just going to get better.
Let them feel as if the new committed relationship is just as carefree as the casual one he enjoys now. What does he treasure about your friendship now? The sex? The conversation? The freedom to come and go, or to take time to himself?
Then make sure he knows a commitment to you will not change that. You will both keep your independence. You will not change and he will not change in personality. You will just see more of each other and become more intimately bonded.
3. Help him achieve his dreams and be better than all those other women!
Most men are not afraid of monogamy. Deep down, a man is afraid of not achieving all of his dreams…it has nothing to do with a need to “bed hundreds of women.”
Men will usually delay commitment because they are holding onto their childhood ambitions of becoming someone important, powerful, successful and so on.
However, this doesn’t actually mean he wants to dump you sleep with other women. He simply wants to feel that he has succeeded…and that he has the “best wife” to show for his success.
This is why the wife of a successful man works hard to stay exciting, sexy and feminine. She wants him to feel on top of the world. She wants him to feel successful and to feel proud of her. She wants to the amazing wife that this successful man deserves!
You Are Better than a Hundred Other Girls!
Real feminine women pride themselves on being better than a hundred cheap one-night stands. Think of yourself as a high value women…an exotic beauty he really has to work for.
Once you enter into an intimate relationship with him, you provide him with the sex, romance and fantasy that he craves. And you do it better than anyone else can.
That’s what makes him lose interest in all the other women and embrace commitment.
You maintain the beauty that caught his eye and the charm that he fell in love with. You are sexually adventurous and give him everything he craves—more sex than he can handle!
You dress to impress him, and to impress other men. You want to look attractive and to make him a little jealous because he needs to feel like you are still the perfect catch—the gold standard that only he deserves.
That’s going to keep him fighting for you. Keep him chasing you. And yes, get him to rush to commitment because soon enough, he’s going to need you in his life to feel complete.
He will soon learn that his ambitions and dreams are completely compatible with you by his side. You’re not an obstacle to success but are his most supportive, most trustworthy friend. You make him feel like a better person, like he can be everything he dreams he can be.
So don’t manipulate a man by threatening him or badgering him into a commitment. Start showing him how you are making all of his dreams come true. Be patient with him and give him the time and space he needs to learn himself and what the wants.
Don’t “wait for him” since this implies weakness.
Match his pace. Be patient and go according to his timeline. Sooner than later, he will realize that without you in his life, he has no one to share his success with.
He will be amazed at how powerful and masculine he feels around you. You will see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you, talks to you, and treats you. You bring the best qualities out in him.
You are his success in life. And when he bends down to one knee, giving you the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen, right before popping the question and showing you that big rock of a ring…
He will feel like a man once again. And you will feel the absolute power of a being a feminine woman.
How to Show a Man You’re the Perfect Woman for Him <– Click Here!
If you’ve spent very much time trying to be the perfect woman for a man then you know it’s exhausting…
You end up feeling like you’ll never be enough for him.
That’s because what you think the perfect woman is for a man isn’t what makes him FEEL like you’re the perfect woman for him.
There’s one very specific difference between women who men want to marry and the ones men only want sex from… can you guess what that is?
I created a video that explains exactly what the difference is.
When you have this one specific thing, it’s like you flip a switch in a man’s mind that makes him pursue you for a long-term, committed relationship.
But if you don’t have this one specific thing, you end up blurring into the sea of all the other women out there and he’ll only end up watching a sexual relationship with you.
I want you to have the man and the relationship that you’ve always wanted.
That’s why I want you to watch this video…