stay togetherby Michael Webb

If you want to make sure you and the man you love stay together… Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here Are 5 Tips That Help Couples Stay Together Long After Tying The Knot:

TIP#1 — CONTINUE DATING

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together.

That’s why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together.

Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

TIP#2 — DELAY IS OFTEN BETTER

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.

A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore a man in the spring, but despise him in the winter.

Getting engaged on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.

TIP#3 — ALWAYS EXPRESS YOUR LOVE

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they “assume” their partner already knows what they’re thinking.

When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your man. Compliment him on whatever he does well, reaffirm that he’s the greatest man in the world or tell him he’s a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance him first. When he’s feeling loved, it’s much easier for a man to love you with all of his masculine energy.

When he feels loved, a man will do almost anything to keep the love flowing and make sure you stay together.

Are you a super supporter of what your man does and says? Do you cheer him on and praise him constantly? Or does he always find himself constantly hearing boos or silence?

TIP#4 — TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND YOUR MAN

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.”

So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your man’s profession or the degree he’s pursuing?

What does he know about YOU?

Do you know anything about each other’s family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about his hobby or even his interest in sports?

If your man has no idea what you’re experiencing during PMS or menopause, or you have no idea what his mid-life crisis might be feeling for him – can you share your feelings and experiences with each other so there’s some understanding and passion?

So there’s a better chance you can “get’ each other?

You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your man in life (and share what floats YOUR boat, too) and you’ll grow closer as a result.

TIP#5 — ANSWER THE *BIG* QUESTIONS

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Does one of you have a history of spending your way into debt? What about attending church?  Or just serious and important things to each of you?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.

I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better.

Most Couples Think The Excitement They Had At The Beginning Of The Relationship Will Insure They Stay Together

Wrong.

If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s” will help you stay together.

Make it your utmost priority to understand each other “inside-out” BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

From Sarah: Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For Couples” the most comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married. Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more. Go here to learn more that’ll help you thrive as a couple, and make sure you stay together->

1 Comment

  1. Anita on July 15, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    I love your tips on love and romance! What excellent ideas! My parents marriage was over long before they got divorced, and for most of my adult life, I suffered fears of making the same mistakes, felt tormented and clueless and fearful of love turning to hatred and evil and two people who once were in love becoming mortal enemies. My only marriage ended in divorce as cycles for both of us were repeated, as that was all we knew. NONE of the therapy I’ve sought out in 16 YEARS since then has really helped! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM FOR THE ADVICE AND WISDOM YOU SO FREELY SHARE!! I also admire that many of you experts on love and relationship know each other and refer to each other’s work. I have had an extremely stressful year financially, or I would buy your every book, yours and theirs. As it is, that may have to wait til the rest of me and my life recouperates from my recent greatest stress. My youngest daughter passed away last year and I have had a very hard time with it all. It all goes into how grateful I am, though, for people like you, who help more than you could ever realize, to give clueless victims of divorce a chance to empower themselves with skills that give them a chance to actually make things work! Thanks ever so much. And here’s hoping I can afford your book soon. The preview is soooo enticing!



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