Words really can make a difference. They can hurt, and they can rebound in ways you don’t predict.

Here are some things that you should just never, ever say to your boyfriend or girlfriend, lover or spouse if you really care about making your relationship last.

Avoid Saying:

You know, my ex did that, too. It doesn’t matter whether this is a compliment or an insult. It’s just not cool or smart to compare your present partner to your ex. They may even start thinking you’re comparing them to your ex all the time. You might succeed in making them think you want your ex back or you can’t get over your ex.

When we get married… While you may be thinking ahead about having a long and happy life of wedded bliss together, that doesn’t mean that the other person is. Before you start saying things like that, make sure that you’re both on the same page or you’ll frighten them away.

Do you think that girl/guy over there is hot? Talk about a deer caught in the headlights! There’s no way your partner can get out of this one gracefully and they’ll probably be upset with you for putting them in that position.

Oh no, no, it’s ok. I’m fine. Why would you say that when you’re clearly upset about something? They can SEE you’re upset and you’re not really trying very hard to hide it. This type of passive-aggressive behavior will have them wishing they could pull their hair out by the roots, or YOUR hair. If you’re upset about something, own up to it. You don’t have to go into details if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend nothing is wrong.

What are you thinking? This may be the most hated question of all. When a person wants to share their thoughts, they’ll find a way. Don’t shut them down when they do open up, just don’t push them when their not ready. Plus, don’t think every serious face is a serious thought or that every serious thought it about your relationship.

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The underlying rule in relationship communication is be generous in your assumptions and don’t seek to manipulate your partner by making them feel bad.

For really wonderful advice on communication techniques that will have a man listening, connecting and dying to commit, check out this Video

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