The royal road I’ve discovered is not an ordinary one. It’s a winding road of curves and valleys that take us to the depths of who we truly are. The average road leads us to the mundane and mediocre…sort of that merely just existing or survival mode that is sourced from an environment that requires you to conform to be accepted…a.k.a fear.
As a result, we get people living a life of ‘shoulds’. Myself included! We ask ourselves, ‘What should I do?’ Or WORSE, we’ll ask our friends, ‘What would you do?’ When we’re not AT ALL genuinely asking what they would do…it’s just a twisted, indirect, projecting onto someone else way of STILL asking, ‘What should I do?’ except now we’re putting it on someone else.
Are you with me? Great. So since ‘should’ is a foundation of bondage for many of us I wanted to learn more about it to free myself and others from this inauthentic way of living. I looked up ‘Should’ at dictionary.com and I found these definitions:
1. Used to express obligation or duty: You should send her a note.
2. Used to express probability or expectation: They should arrive at noon.
3. Used to express conditionality or contingency: If she should fall, then so would I.
Well, if there was ever a 3 step formula to misery and DISHONESTY you’re looking at it! Let see, ‘obligation or duty’…as you know, anything you do or say out of pure obligation or duty WILL result in resentment and it is inauthentic…therefore dishonest. And you wonder why life isn’t working so well? Why you don’t feel like yourself? Why you don’t perceive yourself as powerful? Why you’re not in connected and genuine relationships?
Let’s try #2: Probability/expectation. Doesn’t your greatest misery come from people and life not living up to your assumptions and expectations? You think someone should behave/act/speak/not speak according to your expectations. And you suffer for it.
Hang in there, let’s take a quick glance at #3: Condition or contingency. Looks like strings ARE attached…meaning you’re attached, meaning you are at effect, or basically the victim of how someone else acts. Which clearly will leave you powerless.
So, to tie this all together, living from a fear-based ‘should’ place will have you resentful, dishonest, disappointed and powerless.
YOU AND YOUR LIFE ARE NOT MEANT FOR THIS!
So just as there is a simple 3-step formula for misery, the good news is there is ALSO a simple 3 step formula for freedom.
1. Start from a faith-based place. Believe that ‘For such a time as this…YOU have a royal role in life.’ Just as Esther did. You and your unique self are important and special.
Trust that you have been created for a purpose that only you can accomplish. Remember you and God are a majority!
2. Ask BETTER questions. ‘What do I WANT to do? What do I desire? What is my truth? What feels right to me? What is God’s highest purpose for me? How would the Queen in me choose to respond? Get the idea? Perhaps it was these types of questions Esther asked herself when she took those 3 days to pray before she risked going before the king.
3. Take a risk! Esther risked exposing who she really was before the king AND asked him for a pretty big favor. Risk moving out of your comfort zone. And trust that exposing the real you and asking for what you want will have you fulfill your royal role as Queen in your life.
Remember, Esther’s royal role was NOT being Queen. It was from the position of Queen that she was able to fulfill her purpose. Being Queen is a privilege. It’s an opportunity to be your best self, to succeed, create, love, heal and to be different from the masses.
The royal road, as you’ve seen is not an ordinary one. And why would you want it to be? You are unique and original so it only makes sense that your path would have its own look, feel and destination. And this is SO you can live out your purpose.
– Gina Ratliffe
Copyright ‘ 2006 Gina Ratliffe – All Rights Reserved
Gina is an amazing woman. She’s the only one I know of who teaches you how to “do business like a girl” – she takes your hand and walks you through how to put an online business together. You can find her (and get her terrific free newsletters – very fun) right here at estherexperience.com