From Sarah: – Oh My Goodness – this feels awful in one way – because, according to David, we women can’t put the “reason” why sex is disappearing in our relationship to something OUTSIDE the relationship. I hate having someone tell me to look elsewhere than where I’ve been looking, and at first, I felt myself tense up at David’s article – but then I realized – wow – this could HELP!
by David Wygant
Do you want to know the real reason why men give up sex? It’s not what you think.
So you’re in relationship with a guy, or you’ve been in a relationship with a man, and he stops giving you sex. All of a sudden it just dries up and dies. (The sex.)
So what does a woman usually do in this situation? Women usually do a couple of different things, and what they do is usually ridiculous.
They create a story inside their head because they talk to their other women friends, and their other women friends will say that he must be cheating or must be having an affair. So now that seed is planted in a woman’s brain.
She Thinks No Sex = Cheating
So what’s the next thing she does? She’ll start looking around the house for affair notes or anything she can. She becomes a CSI investigator. Oh, yeah. She’s looking for affair fingerprints anywhere she can possibly find them.
If she can, she’ll grab his cell phone and go through all of his text messages and try to find something that’s incriminating-even if it’s to one of his buddies.
She’ll dig through the phone book and see if there’s any new people in there. Then she’ll go for the e-mail. Yeah, there’s got to be something in that e-mail account that they have. Yeah, I’m going to find it. That’s what Tiger Woods’ wife did-she found an email.
They’ll look through and they’ll just click on any e-mail from a woman. There’s got to be a woman in there somewhere. Got to find it. And what do they find? They always find an email to a woman, and then they create a story based on the email that they found.
Oh, and the story she tells her friends afterwards is always really great. “I found an e-mail to a woman. Yeah, you should see it. They were being nice to each other in there!” Because men and women can’t be nice to each other unless there’s a penis and a vagina involved, right? What’s really crazy is that these women go into CSI investigation mode while the answer to all their problems is right in the mirror.
The Real Reason There’s No Sex
The real reason why most men stop having sex with their girlfriends or their wives is because they’re not emotionally connecting. That’s right. We’re emotional creatures too. We like to emotionally connect. We need it, especially the men that are wired with more foreplay-emotional, mental, and physical-in mind.
It’s never what you think. It really isn’t. The last thing a guy in that situation is really thinking about is a fling. A fling? Yea, that’s exactly what he wants: to bring another woman into his life and really complicate things even more. Right.
So the next time you suspect your man of cheating or having a fling, ask yourself, “What is my man really about? How does my man like to feel? Is my man an emotional guy?” Maybe he’s just reaching out to other people, communicating with people, friends, family, whatever it might be, to try to figure out how to salvage the relationship.
We don’t think with our penises ladies!-all the time. We tend to really also think with our hearts, and sometimes when our heart is broken, we don’t want to repair it through physical attention from another woman. We want to repair it through conversation, through healing, through getting better.
The next time you suspect your man of cheating, consider that maybe he’s a little deeper than you thought he was.
From The Editors: David Wygant is the real deal – he’s SO helpful because he’s a man – and because he coaches men – and so he knows how men think, how they work, how they operate – and what they want. He can help you over come your shyness quickly, and help you shift your “mindset” so you can totally transform your sex life with his free newsletters right here->