by Shadre Carrington
As my partner, you are just as entitled to these rights as I am.
Our job as two members of one healthy relationship is not to keep tabs on who inadvertently violates these rights more, to twist these rights into draconian rules, or to hold ourselves to a standard of absolute perfection.
Instead, our job is simply to make each other happy.
By holding these 10 rights close to our hearts and in the backs of our minds, we allow ourselves a greater chance at happiness together.
By agreeing that we both want to be in a healthy relationship with equal rights, we come closer to forming a more perfect union of two hearts.
As your partner, I am just as accountable to giving these rights as I am to having them.
I love you.
I. THE RIGHT TO INDIVIDUALITY
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to be the same person I was before we began dating. I should not have to adjust any inherent part of myself to make you happy.
II. THE RIGHT TO PRIVACY
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to my own private space. I do not have to do anything I feel violates the boundaries I surrounded said space with, which may include – but is not limited to – giving up my passwords to my email, social media accounts, or phone and sharing secrets I am not ready to share. If I choose to do any of these things it should be when I feel comfortable and when you have earned my trust, not when you decide I have to.
III. THE RIGHT TO GROW AND CHANGE
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to as many personal metamorphoses as I deem necessary to become the person I most want to be. This may include: becoming healthier, being more outspoken, going out less, going out more, getting tattoos, going back to school, and so on. So long as my right to grow and change does not infringe on your personal freedoms, you should not attempt to decelerate the rate at which I develop.
IV. THE RIGHT TO MAINTAIN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to relationships outside of our own,with friends, with family, with my career, etc. Although my relationship with you is important and you are an important person in my life, I also have other people and things in my life that hold value.
V. THE RIGHT TO SAY “NO”; TO DISAGREE
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to say “no” and hold opinions unlike yours. I am allowed to say “no” when you want my answer to be “yes”. I am allowed to disagree with you on certain issues. I’m allowed to stand firm in these declarations.
VI. THE RIGHT TO PUT MYSELF FIRST
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to, when necessary, place my own needs before yours. There will be times throughout the course of this relationship in which I will have to be selfish. Sometimes I will have to step away from an argument even though you want to talk because I need a mental break from the fight; other times I will have to sit out a social gathering even though you want us both to go because I am just not feeling up to it. Whatever the case may be, there will be times I will – for the sake of my sanity – need to be selfish.
VII. THE RIGHT TO LIVE FREE FROM ABUSE
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to live free from abuse of any kind; be it emotional, physical, verbal, sexual, or psychological.
VIII. THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED AS AN EQUAL
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to be treated the way that you want to be treated. I am your partner, not your child or subordinate.
IX. THE RIGHT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to express my love for you and to love you with every fiber of my being – albeit in a normal, non-toxic way. I have the right to want, but not necessarily expect, the same from you.
X. THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY
As a member of a healthy relationship, I have the right to live a life that is full of joy and laughter and warmth.
From Sara at LoveRomanceRelationship: This is something we found on the web and felt was so powerful we wanted to share with our readers. Please feel free to print it out, pass it along, share with others so we can all build healthy relationships.