by Pam Reaves
Are you living life to your greatest potential? If so, you are living the life that you were created to enjoy. If not, you should be evaluating everything about your life, including you the person, your relationships, your environment, what you are doing to achieve your greatest potential, and those things you may be doing that are preventing you from living the kind of life you desire.
Evaluation is necessary in order to prepare and position you to start pursuing and claiming the optimum human experience that every human being is entitled to enjoy. In order to pursue, claim, and enjoy anything in life, you must identify those road blocks that may be restrictive or prohibitive.
In order to identify these road blocks, you must have vision. If you cannot clearly see the path to the enjoyable life that you desire, you will continue to stumble around aimlessly wanting to enjoy a certain lifestyle, but never achieving this particular goal. One of the most crippling impediments that prevent people from achieving their goal of enjoying a power-packed, purposeful, and fulfilling life is the chaotic/drama-filled lifestyle.
The Drama-Filled Lifestyle, Over A Period Of Time, Will Drain The Very Life Out Of Those People Who Allow Drama To Rule Their Personal Journeys
Yet, it is not unusual for people to confuse the excitement they seek in living a fulfilling and enjoyable life, with the drama that sucks the life out of them, as well as their relationships.
In case you think drama is exciting, you should be aware of some descriptions of the drama-filled relationship. Then consider how the following descriptors could be roadblocks that are keeping you from getting optimal enjoyment out of life:
• Emotional chaos
Toxic relationships are “Sick Attachments” and one of the dominant ingredients in sick attachments is “drama”. In order to fully understand the devastation of the drama-filled relationship, a person should be knowledgeable about the truths and myths when it comes to drama, and how drama affects relationships. You may wonder why I’ve attached relationships to the optimum living experience, so let me explain.
Since our relationships revolve around everything that goes on in our lives, it is important to understand the outcome when drama affects every part of our lives. While drama can be defined as excitement, it is critical to reject the notion that “drama” in the negative context should have a place anywhere in the abundant lifestyle.
When an individual embraces and accepts drama into his or her personal life, he or she can be certain that it will eventually spill over into other parts of his or her life. Drama left unchecked will not be contained.
For example, when personal drama spills over into an individual’s professional life, and it becomes governed by chaos, focus is lost; mistakes are made (unnecessary and/or minor errors, as well as colossal oversights); excessive absenteeism becomes a problem preventing the timely completion of projects, if at all; excessive personal telephone calls are distracting to the workplace and become a problem; or the person whose lifestyle is dominated by drama may become erratic in his or her attempts to hide the drama.
This person wants to be viewed by his or her employer in a certain way (e.g. held in high regard) and is embarrassed when those in authority become knowledgeable about their drama-filled lifestyles.
Once personal drama starts to affect job performance, regardless of skill set or talent that may have been of value to the employer in the past, the current poor performance that is the result of the drama-filled lifestyle now has the employee viewed as incompetent.
In most workplace cultures, compensation is based on performance. So once personal drama takes a toll on job performance, it directly affects income. When considering employees for advancement opportunities, employers want people who will represent them well.
They want to be assured that those who are promoted will handle pressure well; they will come to work on a regular basis and will not frequently call in for unscheduled days off; and that they (the employer) have entrusted valuable assignments to people who are focused, pay attention to detail, and will deliver peak performance.
The drama that an individual brings into the workplace can lead to demotion and/or dismissal. There are countless stories of careers destroyed, homes lost, family and friends lost because of drama-filled relationships that wind up in divorce, a break-up of a relationship, or some other adverse life-changing experience.
The individual who attempts to seek solace in a place of worship, but again, leaves the drama-filled lifestyle unchecked, will find that the chaotic spirit spills over into attempts at spiritual relationships. The very nature of chaos is antithetical to the nature of spirituality, which is peaceful, harmonious, loving, and religious.
Those people who allow drama to impact their attempts to connect with the Higher Power of their understanding usually suffer from continued discontentment or torment; the inner peace they so desperately seek continues to be elusive; and a connection with other people at their place of worship is impossible because others who value spirituality will not want to be connected with the toxicity of drama.
When drama rules your life, it prohibits you from having relationships with balanced people, people who refuse to embrace any type of negativity. Men and women who are not accustomed to drama, who were not brought up in drama-filled environments have no stomach or patience for it.
You may be an attractive man or woman; you may be a man or woman who is financially well off; you may be the man or woman who offers excitement in some form. However, the individual who values peace, tranquility and balance in a relationship is capable of overlooking those things (e.g. physical attraction, finances, etc.) that the drama king or drama queen believes secures a substantive and lasting relationship.
We must learn to distinguish healthy loving relationships from toxic relationships or any element of a toxic relationship. The distinction makes all the difference in the world, and the distinction may wind up being the difference between life and death.
Pay attention to even the smallest elements of a toxic relationship because as they accumulate, they eventually wind up becoming a mass of destruction and confusion that is capable of taking out the most stable-minded, able-bodied man or woman. Drama may have your adrenaline going for a period of time, but eventually it will eat away at you, your character, and your reputation.
It will deny you of healthy loving relationships. Have you ever met or heard of someone who was proud of a legacy of drama? I doubt it because there is no honor in being a drama queen or drama king.
When You Refuse To Give Into Drama; When You Refuse To Let Others Draw You Into Their Drama, You Are Exerting Power
When you feel empowered, you feel good about who you are. When you are empowered, you are capable of controlling certain outcomes.
When you are in control, you are at peace; your voice is the voice of calm and reason. On the other hand, in most cases, when the drama is over, someone is left to feel inferior, not loved, taken for granted, victimized, misused or abused in some way.
When you take the time to exercise critical thinking rather than falling for the drama, you are taking control over your life and your environment. Those around you know when you are in control of your life; when you walk in power; what you will accept and what you will reject.
In return, they respond to you with something called “Respect.” Now that you are drama-free, well-respected, empowered, and have the vision necessary, every part of your life is aligned to reach its greatest potential.
From Sarah: Pam Reaves is an amazing coach, and has a tremendous track record helping clients get healthy and happy human experiences in life and love. We truly want to recommend her coaching and her wonderful, powerful book – “Is It Love…Or Merely a Sick Attachment?” Pam is no-nonsense, and breaks down big, important relationship concepts into direct, straight-shooting, tell-the-hard-truth real help for you (just like her book title). Go here to check out Pam’s coaching and “Is It Love…”–>>