The Biggest Problem with the Last Guy Who Broke Your Heart

I invite you to think of the last time you were emotionally invested in a man.

by Evan Marc Katz

It could have been a promising prospect you met online, it could have been your boyfriend of five months, it could have been your fiancé.

The common denominator is that this man, who took your breath away and gave you hope, ultimately left you.

I know how it feels. Most people do. You stake your dreams on the integrity of your relationship, only to find out that he had eyes for someone else, that he had major issues with you, or that wasn’t ready to commit to you.

This can be devastating. It can make you mistrustful. It can make you lose faith. It can stop you from dating entirely.

But the hardest part is how, far too often, you never quite get over him.

Because you weren’t the one who ended things, your feelings remained as strong after you were dumped as they were before you were dumped.

It makes perfect sense. He might have broken up with you, but that doesn’t mean you love him any less.

This exact scenario happened recently with my client, Wanda, who was still recovering from a short relationship with a man she met on JDate.

They had gotten physical after 5 dates, took down their profiles, and entered into an exclusive relationship. Two and a half months later, he broke things off.

Said he wasn’t feeling what he thought he should be feeling. Said it wasn’t her fault. Said he wanted to remain friends.

So Wanda has remained friends with her ex – and has remained in love with him as well.

Needless to say, it’s extremely hard for her to move on. Every new man gets unfavorably compared to her ex. It’s not that she’s wrong; Wanda can’t help herself. She felt that dizzy, passionate, “in love” feeling, and even though the ex is gone, the feeling still lingers.

But should it?

Hell, no!

Wanda’s is wondering about how to get him back. She’s hoping that their friendship turns back into a relationship. She’s “dating” but not really giving herself to the process.

In other words, she is pining for a man who does not love her unconditionally.

Talk about a bad plan. Then again, you’ve probably done the same thing.

It may be normal. It may be human. But it’s sure not healthy – especially if you aspire to the delight, passion and safety of a truly happy marriage.

If you’re still holding onto a man from your past, my program, Why He Disappeared – The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever will show you how to instantly let go.

But let me ask you: don’t you think your future husband should love you unconditionally?

Wouldn’t you figure that this should be a pre-condition for any man who’s going to spend his life with you? I sure do.

In fact, if I’m building the perfect man, I’m starting there and working backwards:

1) Most important quality: Loves you unconditionally. Will stick by you for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part.

2) Second most important quality: Everything else – height, weight, age, income, education, etc.

Yet all I hear about, over and over, is the amazing, tall, cute, sexy, charismatic, funny, successful guy who breaks your heart when he doesn’t want to commit to you.

Well, guess what?

That guy SUCKS!

Your future husband DOESN’T leave you.

Your boyfriend’s willingness to leave you IS his fundamental flaw.

And yet you’re holding onto an idealized image of him – hoping he comes back.

Why? So when you get him back, he STILL doesn’t love you unconditionally?

Face it; your ex isn’t as great for you as you think he is. It’s not that he’s a bad guy. It’s not that you didn’t have a genuine special connection.

It’s that, in practice, he’s a terrible life partner – for one very specific reason: He was willing to let you go.

Now it’s time for you to let him go.

Same thing with any man who broke your heart in the past. Let him go.

Only then can you open up to true love – the kind that endures forever.

If you’re done pining over your selfish ex who didn’t fully appreciate you, you must read Why He Disappeared.

In it, I give you an in-depth understanding into the kind of man you want to attract and keep in your life. Starting from the moment you begin reading, you’ll begin to learn surprising concepts about men, that will transform the way you interact with them forever.

I can’t wait to hear how your life transforms!

datingEvan Marc Katz is a dating coach who specializes in helping smart, strong, successful women understand and connect with men. He has over 24 million blog readers, over 150,000 newsletter subscribers, and thousands of satisfied clients who find his take on relationships to be enlightening, entertaining and empowering. It wasn’t until Katz took his own wisdom that he met his future wife – and became a much better dating coach in the process. By opening up to a new kind of partner, Katz proved that to get different results in love, you have to make different choices. “I had to make fifteen years of dating mistakes before I finally figured out how to have a happy relationship. I believe firmly that the road to success is paved with failure, and since I’d failed so prolifically and ultimately found my own way, I feel uniquely qualified to help others have success in love.” If this article resonates with you, please check out “Why He Disappeared.”

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