If you’re feeling frustrated because your relationship doesn’t seem to be moving forward – or you keep attracting men who don’t seem interested in a real, committed relationship – you’re not alone!
If you don’t understand how relationships and the path to commitment really work for a man, you’ll keep wasting your precious time and energy accidentally doing what doesn’t work and sabotaging your efforts (I know this because I’ve been there!).
Here are the two biggest mistakes women make when it comes to getting the commitment they want:
Mistake #1: Accidentally Chasing Him
When we find ourselves feeling anxious about where we stand with a man or where the relationship is going – it’s normal to start to worry that if we don’t show him how interested we are, he’ll think we don’t care or he’ll lose interest and drift away.
We automatically begin trying to let him know how interested we are, and the things we instinctively do unknowingly turn a man off!
We want to make sure he knows how we feel. We feel this intense “urge” to do things for him to show him how much we care.
So we become EXTRA “loving” and show him what a great woman we are. We do things like…
- Call him to “check in” with him and touch base
- Send him a flirty text message
- Drive to his place because it’s more convenient for him
- Cook him his favorite dinner
- Call or text him because you haven’t heard from him
- “Like” his Facebook posts
- Get in touch because he hasn’t made plans for the weekend
- Ask him how he feels (especially how he feels about you and the relationship)
We’re just being friendly and loving… and we do these things because we want to show him how cool, easy going and helpful we are.
We may think we actually need to “help” him. He may be shy, busy, or just clueless – and we want to make it as easy as possible for him and show him what a great woman we are.
We take on the masculine role as “pursuer” without even realizing it – and this automatically forces him into the “distance-er” role.
To a man, when we begin initiating anything – it feels like pressure to him. It dampens his desire to get closer – and he often has NO IDEA why.
He probably can’t put his finger on it, but he just isn’t “feeling it” the way he used to. He may stop calling or making plans with you – or even start saying he’s “confused” or doesn’t know if he can give you what you want.
Mistake #2: Talking About The Relationship
As women, when we talk things through, it helps us feel more connected and closer. To a man, it feels like pressure and it feels like we’re chasing him.
The only thing talking about the relationship makes a man want to do is back up and create space for himself – which makes us want to move towards him to close the gap, as soon as possible.
Here’s the thing – you don’t need to talk about the relationship.
The less you initiate talking about the relationship (including asking him how he feels about you), the better!
When you want to talk about the relationship, he’ll usually shut down and his feelings of attraction will start to fade instantly.
Inspiring A Man To Want To Commit To You Has NOTHING To Do With The Words You Say!
What you want to do to create this intense attraction and connection is focus on creating good feeling experiences with him – moment by moment.
When you learn what makes a man want to get as close as possible and stay forever, you’ll find yourself feeling more happy, secure and confident.
You’ll no longer spend your time worrying about how a man feels about you and what he’s thinking.
You’ll feel more cherished and connected to him right away because HE’LL feel compelled to move towards you and close that gap.
Once you start get incredible results with this, you’ll never go back to doing things the “old” way!
From Sara at LoveRomanceRelationship: If this resonates with you, please check out Helena’s incredible program here! <== Helena Hart is one of our faves, and we highly recommend her programs, blog, wisdom and guidance.