In one survey, 20% of men and 13% of women said that they had cheated during their marriage.
While the numbers may be higher because people may not be willing to admit it, the point is that many people have cheated. How do you know if your partner is one of them?
Do you have a gut feeling your partner is cheating but can’t prove it? They’re sneaky, but you’re smarter. Here are common things cheaters say to hide affairs.
1. Start Saying I Instead of We
If you have noticed lately that your partner has started saying “I” instead of “we” when referring to your relationship, this may be a red flag.
When people say “we” they normally say it because they recognize that they’re in a relationship and working with someone as a team. But if your partner is starting to say “I” and leave you out of the equation, this may be a sign that he’s mentally started detaching from the relationship.
For example, your partner could say something like, “I hope to take a trip to England one day” instead of suggesting that you both travel somewhere.
While this alone may not indicate he’s cheating, it could be used as a red flag among some of the following things.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and mental abuse when someone tries to convince you that the way you are seeing the situation is wrong. It’s a way of twisting the person’s reality so that the cheater can still be able to cheat.
For example, if you confronted your partner about cheating, they may accuse you of being crazy or completely out of your mind for even suggesting such a thing, even if you have evidence to back up why you think so.
Cheaters are really good at putting blame on other people to avoid being held accountable for their actions.
3. Going on “Business Trips”
One of the things cheaters say to hide affairs is that they’re going out of town for a business trip.
If your partner has a job that actually does require a lot of travel, they may truly be going on a business trip. However, that doesn’t mean that you should discredit your theory.
Sometimes even if they do travel a lot, they may still be having an affair.
If your partner hasn’t normally traveled a lot until recently, this may be a sign that they are spending time with someone else instead of you.
4. “Casual” Friendships
Another reason you might hear from your partner if they’re cheating is that so and so is “just a really good friend.”
If your partner and their friend are spending a lot of time together, more so than you and them, this may be a cause for an alarm.
This friend could come from anywhere, like work, neighbors, or a member at the gym. This doesn’t mean that you can’t let your partner hang out with other friends, but you should be suspicious if they are spending too much time with one person.
If you talk to your partner about it, they should be able to have an open and honest conversation with you about it. However, if they are cheating, they may become defensive of that friend.
5. Start Talking About Another Person a Lot More Than They Used to
If your significant other starts talking about that friend or another person a lot more, you may start to question why.
It’s normal to get jealous at first, but before you do anything about it, you should make sure that there actually is an affair between your partner and that person.
You could always ask them about it, but if there is a relationship, they may start to get defensive and gaslight you.
Just be aware of how much they talk about the other person and what kind of things they say. Are they favorable things? Do they talk fondly of them?
6. Picking a Fight
Juggling one relationship is difficult, but two is even more so.
With that much more stress, your partner may become irritable and lose their patience with you. They may start picking a fight with you, especially if they feel like your relationship isn’t as important to them as the other one.
As much as it hurts, they may start to see you as the person in their way. Therefore, they will take that anger out on you, resulting in a lot more fights.
One classic thing for cheaters to do is to just deny it all when you confront them.
Very rarely will they come clean and admit everything to you.
At first, you may be relieved to hear the denial, because you may be able to trick yourself into thinking that there is nothing wrong. But if there is still something telling you to keep digging and find out if there is something going on, you should keep digging.
It’s not uncommon for cheaters to lie, deny the claims, and put the blame back on you.
8. Accusing You of Being Unfaithful
Sometimes a cheater will take denial a step further and actually accuse you of being the one who is cheating.
This is a great way to put the blame off of them and make you angry that they would even suggest that. It’s a way for them to have you focus your anger on something else.
An accusation like this could also be a sign of them projecting their own guilt onto you, which could be a good indicator of their cheating. This is just another manipulative tactic they can use to get away with it.
These things cheaters say to hide affairs are some of the most common red flags to determine if they are actually cheating.
Relationships can be difficult to manage, especially if someone in the relationship is being unfaithful.