Sometimes I notice I’m living my life in fast-forward.
Sort of “OK I’ve seen that the leaves are amazing, yes, it’s gorgeous, now let me get through winter and try that season!”
Or I’m looking forward to what I’m doing tonight.
Or just a sense of being speeded up and wanting to be speeded up.
This can keep going until I notice it.
Until I’m just aware of what I’m doing in my head.
So how do I slow myself down? (And is it even about “slowing myself down”?)
Yes, it’s simple to say this is about being present.
And so many of my tools are about being present – here now in this moment. Yet, the part of my brain that wants to run things in a fast-forward way allows me to, maybe, have some moments of being present – but then it keeps kicking into gear.
So how do I reset this – my – system?
How do I reset the priorities, the speed of my mind, the intent of what my life on earth is….?
Well, the first thing I do is: The moment I notice the fast speed I’m operating at, and that I’m in my head and not enjoying the moment, I say to myself, “I’m alive!”
That’s it. No affirmations. No talking to myself… Nothing.
I just say “I’m alive.”
That alone is so awesome that it takes me aback for a second. It sort of stops the onward moving.
Then I do my Rori Raye Tools – Like: Really looking at a tiny piece of clover in front of me for as long as I possibly can before I can feel myself wanting to speed up.
I look into my dogs eyes, I touch his face, I feel for all the bumps in his bones and pull all of the dark goop out of the hair near his eyes.
And then I just ask myself…
What do I want?
What do I desire?
What is this desire that is propelling me so fast forward?
Is it some desperate attempt to get one of my needs met that I’ve let fall by the wayside?
Is it some desire that I’ve squelched down and covered over? A desire I’ve left sitting, simmering, and all it wants to do is have everything?
Is all this desire being managed by my brain by trying to not notice it, and instead just speeding me through my life to my death?
Is this the way I protect myself?
Is this the way my mind stays safe and civilized?
Well at this point, I’m ready to throw everything out the window. Which is impossible, because my mind is constantly coming up with ways to refute and deny and squelch down my creative new thoughts.
So, I make myself sit down.
Yes, I know the dog needs to be fed. I need to be fed. I have work to do.
But I make myself sit.
And that sitting can be so uncomfortable it’s illuminating.
My mind does not want me to sit down.
Yeah, it lets me if I’m reading a book.
Yeah let’s me if I’m working or searching for something online.
Yeah, It puts itself aside for a moment if I’m coaching or doing something it thinks is “productive.”
* Just sit yourself down.
* Turn your attention to your body.
* Allow yourself to focus on tracking your body’s tension, and then just allow yourself to soften the tension you find in one little bit of your body at a time.
* Don’t try to eradicate the tension. It won’t happen.
* Go for letting it move around your body freely.
The tension really wants to leave your body… Just let it if it wants to.
And as you feel yourself needing to hop yourself up, as though this little meditation of communing with your body is throwing a wrench into the works of your day… Just try to do this as often as you notice your speed is now “fast forward.”
Because your brain is really not all that smart.
It’s kind of a rote learner.
It’s kind of doing what it always does. It’s sort of trying to be safe (and keep YOU safe!), and assuming you won’t notice.
Your brain is not very imaginative, and not very creative when it’s in this fast-forward space.
It’s just scared. It’s scared of something. It scared of something that really isn’t worth digging into right now. To “dig” right now just puts you further and further into your mind’s little clutches of needing safety.
What you want is an aura of adventure and exploration about you.
What you want is to be able to actually watch the leaves fall from the trees without needing to jump up and do something.
If you’re afraid this is going to hamstring you professionally and work wise… Think again.
When you start living like a girl, from your desire, from your soft self, from your creative, organic, original, chaotic, feminine self – and slow things down without trying to slow things down… You will be shocked at how much more you get done. And how much faster. It’s kind of magical…
To give you an example, I’m writing this entire post sitting in a chair in my backyard, talking into my phone while watching the leaves fall from my trees.
I don’t feel like I’m moving at Top Speed, yet I feel very “alive and awake.”
I feel like I’m expressing feelings and desires that’ve been churning inside me with no outlet. My brain’s been trying to “keep the lid on” (perhaps for no reason at all – just habit….) and so it’s been just keeping on propelling me forward, and skipping over what’s inside that wants to come out…
Dive into yourself! It’s fun!
In her books, CDs, DVDs and seminars, relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own, now-glorious two-decades-long marriage around.
I’m a trained relationship coach, a former crisis counselor, and through my eBook, programs and newsletter, I’ve helped thousands of women succeed in love by teaching them the Tools I’ve created and developed with my clients – Tools that work quickly and effortlessly to change a struggling love life into Happy Ever After.
If you’re not familiar with Rori’s work, please do yourself a favor and get her book “Have The Relationship You Want.” It will shift everything, almost overnight.