by Gaye Wright
We’ve all had that yearning in our relationships, for a deep connection, a soul connection. I read an interesting article the other day on relationship messages and how we are constantly sending messages to each other about our needs and wants in relationship. According to this article, there are four levels of relationship messages, culminating in a high-level communication focused on those people uniting in the oneness of everything.
But most of us are operating on the first two levels in trying to connect with each other soul to soul. On these two levels we are yearning for a deeper soul connection with another but not getting the confirmation of that connection.
Relationship Message Level One, the First Longing for Soul Connection
On this level, our subconscious says:
“Pay attention to me.” In other words: I exist; I am here; Notice me; See me. Whenever any being meets another there is a demand for attention. This can easily be seen in human interactions where we seek to communicate with each other. Communication requires attention. When others do not pay attention to us we feel cut off or separate. It is the essence of who we are that spontaneously sends out this message: Pay attention to me! Our soul wants union with another. It is out natural state of being. It is what makes us truly happy, fulfilled beings.
But we often camouflage this message with distortions of who we are, and with behavior that alienates rather than attracts. We need to be perceptive enough to go beyond the distortions and masks to see and hear the essential invitation to connection, regardless of what the behavior is. If we can notice how others are unique and different, then be assured that others will notice that about us. If we can acknowledge that beauty in others, then be assured that others will notice the beauty in you.
Relationship Message Level Two, the Deeper Yearning for Soul Connection
“Love me.” At a deeper level beyond “pay attention to me,” our soul emits the message: Love me! Once we get the other’s attention, this is the next message we can hear. Love is the essence of soul. It is the essence of our essence. When we do not love ourselves, then our behavior will undermine this invitation to connection. We can turn love away from us. It seems easier to judge ourselves and run from love than to have faith in our own goodness.
On a feeling level we are searching for validation of our acceptability, goodness, worthiness, and personal value. When we don’t get the responses from others that we want we frequently go to the mental level and try to affirm or justify our ‘rightness.’ This is like saying, ‘If I can’t be acknowledged for my goodness, then at least I can be right.’ We might also reject others through blame or other judgments when we do not get the love from them that we want. It’s a cliched story. When we feel validated, we have no need to judge, reject, or complain.
In a perfect world we would all like to connect at that deeper soul level without having to go through issues and problems to get there. What we yearn for is that soul connection, that feeling of belonging, that sense of oneness. The journey to enter into that state of being might challenge us to have a good look at ourselves and change, but what we do gain on our journey is the friendship and love that goes with soul recognition. The we can enjoy relationships that we know will last forever, relationships that are built on a soul connection.
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