Have you ever wondered how it feels to go beyond yourself. Where you don t merely think of what you want, what you should do or what you shouldn’t. For somebody who has reveled in the carefree and independent life of singlehood, the idea of breaking down the shell of the “I” and letting another person in may somewhat be daunting.
That s basically how it is when a person realizes they have developed profound affection for somebody. Cliche it may have been, but this is what happens when somebody has fallen into the vacuum of “love”. When a person is “in love”, there is the risk of them becoming vulnerable. After all, what emotion or essence can be more compelling.
But then again, none else can be as blissful as well, when “love” is given a chance and relished to the utmost. So you think you are in love- Part of you can be apprehensive, another suspended in a state of celestial bliss. But either of these conditions are solid foundations for establishing a relationship.
“Love”- this is more than an emotion or delusion. It is a conscious effort – to clearly see the other person and to ask yourself. Is this the person I m willing to choose as my partner? Loving is also a conscious will to act. To do, to offer, to sacrifice and to share with another person.
And most of all, loving is to consciously choose to let somebody into your space, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. To love is to consciously choose to grow, to take the journey from “I” to “We”. It is to share true intimacy with another person. True intimacy is a state and endeavor consciously planned and worked on together by a couple.
You make a commitment to each other that there is a conglomeration of “you and him”, or “you and her”. But within this union, each must maintain their own sense of self. Each ought to consider themselves capable to work for and with each other in the relationship. It is essential that you make your significant other feel loved and special.
You may already feel that they are already so, but showing it to them through words and action is crucial. Care for them, and most of all, make them feel safe and secure. Give them an assurance of your faithfulness, and most of all deliver. Let your defenses down-you may have to render yourself vulnerable, but you will not experience love at its fullest when you have distrust.
Emphatize with your partner, listen and understand their intimacy language. Emotions are vital in keeping a relationship alive, and whatever emotional blockages you have, you might as well remove them. Accept responsibility for your words and actions towards your lover. You made the conscious effort to get into a commitment with them, now make a conscious will towards your obligations as a partner.
Be willing to learn, to stretch your limits, to grow and to change- for the better. You may have differing perspectives, but try to be in your lover’s shoes when it comes to their point of views. You will have to put aside your needs and wants from time to time and accommodate your significant other’s.
This endeavor has to be reciprocal, however. Consciously create true intimacy on a day to day basis. Never expect perfection from each other; the beauty of being in a relationship is that you give each other the gift of growth. Until you have gained awareness. This is the beauty of loving-you go beyond yourself which in turn makes you a better person, and you become stronger.
See your partner, take a good look and love no matter what. Be each other’s best friend during the day, lovers at night, and partners for life.
From Sarah: I’m always searching form really good articles, not just “general” things anyone can write, and I found Ruth and like her writing very much – here’s her bio – Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Find out more here.