by Amy Waterman
We’ve heard the term ‘two old marrieds’ before. Most of us ‘younger marrieds’ harbor dreams of getting to that point. Some of us find it unappealing and unexciting.
After all, what would you always prefer?
A marriage as comfy as an old sock or the one hyped up in romantic novels and comedies?
Interestingly, it does take years of passion, love and intimacy to get to the point where a couple is so comfortable with each other that they finish each other’s sentences and depend on each other.
Want to know a secret? Studies say that couples like these have an even better sex life in their marital futures than the ones with all the passion at the start then burn out later on.
Why? Because these savvy couples don’t let up on keeping the intimacy, passion and spice in their marriages. They’ve built it up through the years to what we can call as a marriage ‘art form’.
How can you learn these spicy tips to keep the love in your marriage? Here’s some of them!
1. Prioritize each other.
This is the mother of all tips. Successful old marrieds have come to realize that above all relationships each one has in their lives ‘ even kids, own parents, siblings, co-workers, best buds ‘ a couple has to prioritize their marriage.
Why? Ultimately, it will be just the two of you going through life together and you made the promise to do so. People fail to realize that your spouse is your first and foremost priority! They allow their marriages to get caught in between squabbling kids, family politics and even work obligations. Big no-no.
Your spouse has to know that he or she can trust on you to do what’s best for the relationship and vice versa, that he or she is your best friend and will never let you down. When you work as a team, you face the obligations you have towards others as a team.
2. Don’t give up dating… Each other!
The humdrum of life, kids and laundry can take a way time for each other. Don’t allow it! If you’re the spontaneous type, rethink your understanding because you really do have to set a date to date your spouse ‘ and keep it regular!
You can even take turns planning surprise dates. They don’t have to be grand, they just have to be time off to feed number one above. And, don’t forget, they same way you are creative in dating your spouse, learn to be creative in the bedroom!
3. Fight fair, laugh always.
You might think the elements in this tip are not related but they absolutely are! It’s all a matter of attitude. How do you see fighting or arguing in your relationship? How do you see humor? If you can inject both with a positive approach always, then you realize that it all comes from the inside.
Learn how to fight constructively with the correct communication tools. And don’t take fighting too seriously. Laugh with your spouse at your annoying little fights. See them both as essential to your marriage.
4. Talk, discuss, agree to disagree!
As a couple, it’s better if you share a majority of your beliefs and perspectives about life. But, even if you don’t, talking, discussing and bantering are important in keeping the spice in your marriage. You can even agree to disagree and that’s that!
The more you talk, the more you get to know what your spouse is thinking and feeling. The more you get to know the real person behind the words. The more opportunities you find that you still surprise each other after all!
From Sarah: Amy Waterman is one of the first – and one of the most respected – marriage “experts” anywhere. Her “Save My Marriage Today” program is a classic – and you can check it out here to save your own marriage—>>>