Have you ever wondered why interactions with your man seem to have distinct sexual differences? The verbal dynamic askew?
For example, your man has a problem, and you want to help. You KNOW you have the PERFECT solution.
I’ve done this numerous times, and to my great dismay, I got met with stony silence, glazed over eyes, OR I was ignored.
So how do you give advice to your man?
I know how frustrating this can feel, knowing you can fix his issue, especially if you have had previous experience, are qualified, an expert even. BUT this IS NOT your department.
To continue on this route will shift the sexual energy between you. If he’s a masculine energy man, he may feel emasculated. And you would be falling into the doing mode, great for business, but not for your relationship if you are the feminine energy.
Unless he requests it, unsolicited advice is not usually well received.
And even when he does ask, I suggest exercising caution.
Try a Different Sexual Verbal Dynamic
Preface your words with, “what do you think about this….?” or “I have a thought. Would you like to hear it?” Or “May I make a suggestion?”
- If he dismisses or ignores you but then does what you advised anyway AND without acknowledgment, please DO NOT say a word.
- If you find out later that someone else offered the same advice you would have had he asked, and he followed it, PLEASE bite your tongue.
Yes it can be irritating. Yes it can hurt, but it’s really a small thing.
- You CAN learn to smile inside, accept that you know the answer, and have this be enough. You can learn to take comfort, have peace around these thoughts.
- You can also tell yourself, for this IS likely TRUE, that somewhere within, your man knows you know, and in his own seemingly strange way has said thank you by doing it your way after all.
Men like to figure things out for themselves. It’s HIS job to fix things as part of his masculine sexual energy. It makes him feel good, so let him do it his way in his own way, even if they are sometimes your ideas.
Your New Sexual Verbal Dynamic Can Look Like This
- PRAISE him. He loves your approval, seeks it even.
- Melt and open your heart really wide to him. And PRAISE him.
This may be difficult to take sometimes, but it does get easier. And once you accustom, it can be rather entertaining in a sweet, endearing sort of way.
I have noticed that the more I have refrained from advice giving, the more he has come to me asking for my thoughts, opinions.
This may sound like men have such fragile egos, and we women need to tread carefully. This is not what I want you to take away from this.
We ALL have fragile sexual egos. AND we all love praise, support, and love.
So if it means swallowing your pride every now and then, is that such a bad thing? This will make YOU feel good too. Isn’t that worth it? More so than being right?
You may just find him being more loving and attentive, holding you closely just the way you love. That’s not such a bad trade off, is it?
Men and women just have a different sexual verbal dynamic.
From Sarah: Dominique understands that masculine/feminine dynamic that keeps relationships strong and hot for years and years. And she’s got some great advice for you about how to maintain that healthy sexual dynamic. Check out more of her free materials and her fabulous new book Sex and Heart if you’re looking for greater romantic and sexual satisfaction.