New standards of “living together”, divorce, and remarriages have created an appealing option for people who no longer want to take the ‘extra mile’ of saving their relationship, thus the uncontrolled destruction of what could salvaged and even renewed with some effort.
Different Kinds of Separation:
At this very moment, there are thousands of couples experiencing the transition between marriage and separation, which can come in different forms and based on different motives. For some people, separation in relationship is a preparation stage for the divorce process, but it shouldn’t always be thought of this way…
There are couples who view separation in relationship as a means of making space and reducing the tension of the commitment so they can make up their mind on whether the marriage can be salvaged.
When a marital relationship looks as if it’s falling apart, separation in relationship can be a method for couples to dig up a more objective analysis of themselves and the take a good, hard look at the advantages and disadvantages of the relationship, thereby giving each other the chance for understanding.
Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when choosing separation in relationship as a change period that could lead to either compromise or divorce.
When Choosing Separation in Your Relationship:
Make a tangible plan. There is more to separation than merely being away from each other and disconnecting. Besides the emotional factors of separation, there are important matters of finances, children, and household responsibilities, and couples need to discuss each of these areas and think them over.
- Focus on balance and be honest.
After time is taken to rethink and balance the relationship, and one partner or both feel absolute separation is needed, being honest about it and communicating it is very important.
Holding back these feelings based on fear of reaction or guilt is unfair to both of you.
- Be open to a new start.
Contrary to ending in divorce following the separation stage, some couples realize how much they need and value the relationship, resulting in new desires that make the commitment much stronger and healthier.
- Be prepared for and accepting of a respectful ending.
If for whatever reason, the separation stage does not help reconciliation and results in divorce, then the best way is to accept each person’s decision and begin the necessary legal steps.
Always keep in mind that the stages of divorce, like the stages of grief, are real and affect not only the two splitting up, but family members and friends. It is important that these people are also treated with respect and care – especially children. Finger-pointing and blame result in nothing but pain.
Anger – although a natural reaction – should not be allowed to hinder the process as this only serves to add pain and frustration.
- Don’t give up too soon.
Separation in relationships is not always negative, and does not have to lead to an end but rather, a beginning.
More often than not, a timely and well-planned break can help to forge paths toward re-energized, stronger, and more valued connections. Be ready to give it the respect, time, and effort all great relationships take.
Despite the mindset of today’s modern, self-serving society, a strong relationship and marriage is based on love that deserves attentive work and devotion. The longer you stay together, through good times and bad, the more stages you survive, the better your chances.
Besides, all things worth having are worth the work!
Wishing you Better Love, Better Sex, Better Life