Dear groovin’ gorgeous,
My son’s school friend had a roller skating rink birthday party today. I wanted to reconnect with moms that I hadn’t seen since the end of the school year… yet the 80’s tunes were calling me to get out there with all the 8 year olds.
So I laced up my roller skates and headed out. I love the shift in my body since I’ve done all my sacred dance classes and surrendering with Source. I can glide feeling connected to the center of the earth, let it fill my body, almost suctioned to the earth, fueling me, sustaining me, feeding me… the wind in my hair groovin’ to “Fame” and I was on a high!
The movement and speed while soaring and gliding showed me how I put the brakes on to be ‘safe’ or even be ‘in control’ and it’s soooo not necessary!
Roller skating reminded me I can let go, enjoy the ride, feel connected to source, and surrender to the magnificent flow of life… Just needed my old legwarmers and a headband…
Next, here is Part 1 of a POWERFUL story of healing RIGHT IN LINE with the letting go I just mentioned… this has to do with my miraculous healing with my son’s father.
So book smarts, I would tell you that I co create with the Divine. I put out my intention and the Universe responds. Ask and it is given, right?
Yet you know when someone coughs “Bulls%*&”? That’s what the amazing Divine would be doing with a chuckle as it witnessed Allana Banana.
I SAID my intentions, I went through the MOTIONS of saying I let go. But I didn’t. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me, yet I wasn’t 100% full of Faith that Source was actually paying attention to ME and I was skeptical that Source was actually orchestrating anything to help ME with my goals and dreams.
I double checked.
I did it myself.
I never rested.
I was in fight or flight with adrenal fatigue drinking yet another coffee.
My neck was tight for indeed the weight of the UNIVERSE was on my shoulder because all responsibilities in the end were MINE because that way, I could ensure shit would get done.
It was up to ME and that made me feel independent, strong, powerful and capable. No none could hurt me, let me down when I did it all myself. Plus I had lots of struggle to whine about and get sympathy. Triumphant poor me.
Except I was exhausted, terrified inside to let go, panicked to let go of control and really see if Spirit was there to support me… I had created my own stressed out, busy, keeping it together 24/7 Hell.
So with the help of my coach (yes any coach worth their weight better be being coached) I changed my relationship with Life, starting with my son’s father.
First she talked to me straight, saying my issue with him had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me being unwilling and scared to move forward in my power and purpose, so I was creating drama to drain my power and keep me small.
Next she helped me see that behind the veil of my son’s father’s anger, was a scared little boy asking ‘why did you leave me?’ Now, I’ve known that before… yet didn’t have access to a shift in behavior around that until I saw that HE was no different than the scared little girl in ME asking God, why aren’t you here for me?
Now here was the key that made me change forever….
I KNEW my anger toward my son’s father made him walk on egg shells, make mistakes, I blamed him, he got angry…. blah blah…. same drama for over 7 years… YET WHAT I NEVER SAW was that he took that anger out on our son.
I was ready to vomit when I saw that I was responsible for adding fuel to the fire.
So instead of contributing to suffering in their relationship… I forgave him, forgave me and began to focus on all the amazing things he and only he could provide for our son.
I praised him and stayed present to the good. Within two weeks he called saying let’s put the past behind us and really get on the same page for our son.
Even when we disagree I’m not butting heads with his little boy and my little girl… I see clearly, with compassion and can talk straight about facts, and get resolution a lot faster. THERE IS NO CHARGE LEFT.
And I don’t need to be in control micromanaging his every step. There’s room for him to step up, support me and handle his own messes, grow and evolve.
For now, I encourage you to begin considering where your validated frustration is actually making matters worse.
I know, really grown up stuff, yet on the other side is freedom and love.
Allana is amazing. she’s the only single mom, dating, motherhood and love coach we know who actually shares her own life with you and teaches you how to get the life and love you want. The program she created for us – “Single Mom Manifesto” is filled with practical, spiritual, emotional – and did I say practical? ways to date men in the most effective way and to get and keep the lifelong love you want (or even the “for now” love you want). Go here to check out Single Mom Manifesto, watch Allana’s video, and see how she can help you go from the single women “label” to whatever you want in your love life->