Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places.
This is a classic dialogue that demonstrates a great way to clean up an upset:
“I’m feeling very hurt because of what you said.”
“When did I say that?”
“Two days back.”
“But I never meant that.”
“I don’t know what you meant, but it’s been hurting me since then.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I genuinely never meant that. Why didn’t you ask me then and there?”
“I was too hurt to ask.”
“Oh, I’m very sorry.”
What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. How will a man know what you mean?
How Communication Works: Will ANY Listener Know What You Mean?
How will your man know what you mean when you say something that feels confusing to him, and what are the chances that you could be misinterpreting what he says…just by a perception of his expression, or the tone of his voice, or his words themselves?
The listener only picks up your words and makes interpretation.
And men are notoriously unskilled at picking up the “nuances” of what we women say.
Choosing clear, simple, straight-forward and yet non-attacking words while communicating with a man is important.
If you know about a man’s sensitivities about a subject, you have to be very careful while talking even in jest. Your tone has to be perfect and you have to be careful while speaking.
Communication Isn’t About Being “Vigilant” And “Careful” – But It IS About Taking “Care”…
You never know when you will hurt your partners feelings.
On the other hand – we sure don’t want you “walking on eggshells” around any man.
So how can you be authentic, be totally yourself, say what you mean and speak about how you feel and what you need – and still take care not to “make him wrong” or hurt his feelings?
ESPECIALLY if you’re feeling angry at something he did or didn’t do or did or didn’t say?
This kind of communication “care “is very important if the relationship is already going bad and you wish to save it.
Freedom in communication is glorious, fun, and creates SO much closeness and harmony (even if you’re communicating about anger and disappointment) – and the more you take care to be sure that your man understands you well and feels good at the WAY you’re talking to him (even if he doesn’t like what you’re saying…) the better EVERYTHING gets!
Not only do you get to be like close friends, who speak their mind without walking on eggshells just because good communication is the bottom line of a good friendship – you get to build the INTIMACY and excitement and thrills in the relationship.
Honest speaking starts the juices flowing – and keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself dries them up.
And…at the same time – speaking without care or thought for your man’s feelings and the words you use and the way HE hears what you say can kill love more easily than anything.
Our Good Husband Guide by Jeffrey Mark Levine is all about how to create an “umbrella of safety” for your relationship – so that your man will actually open up to you instead of stonewall or withdraw. “Good Husband” will even help you open up a man who’d already closed down and withdrawing – Jeffrey’s tools and the words he teaches you to use can bring your entire family to a new, loving, harmonious place. Go here to check out the Good Husband Guide, get Jeffrey’s free newsletters and your free “Good Husband Toolbox” and learn a completely new kind of communication that works fast to heal your relationship->