rori1.jpg by Rori Raye

If you’re feeling insecure and anxious right now in your relationship – like at any moment it could tip over and all the juice could run out of it…I totally understand and have some real help for you.

When this used to happen to me, when a man who seemed SO excited about me just sort of drifted away, I did the only thing I knew to do – I tried to make myself even more attractive to him.

And the more I tried – the sexier I made myself look and act, the nicer I was – and the more “reasonable” I was – it seemed to push him away even more.

I remember being shocked when a man who all my friends thought of as “beneath me” – who’d never had a serious relationship, who told me himself how amazed he was that I even “liked” him – all of a sudden one evening told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore.

He couldn’t explain – there were no reasons.

It was as though he were “opting out.”

And then – within the week – he wanted to be friends, made “friend” dates with me, came over to my apartment – and tried to have SEX with me!

I’d never been more confused in my life.

I clearly knew nothing about men then.

I had ATTRACTED him – but in only a PHYSICAL way.

In an emotional way, I’d repelled him.

It took me years and years to understand what that was all about (and to realize how lucky I was that he’d shown me his true colors so early in the relationship), and though I’m so glad that never worked out, I know now what I might have done and not done that would have made me FEEL so much better, and that would have turned the tables so I was the one with the choice, and not him.

I know now the difference between a man being attracted to us physically, and him “liking” us or “admiring” or “appreciating” us – and him “falling in love” with us.

Now I know and can share with you exactly how to create an irresistibly magnetic way of being with a man that connects with him in his heart.

Here’s a small, new Tool that will help you get started on your way to drawing in every man you meet – including the one you may already be with.

The Tool is PAINT YOURSELF IN LOVE – and it sounds kind of fanciful, but it’s actually very practical.

Here’s what I was doing with this man that pushed him away, and what you’re likely doing that isn’t working for you:

I looked at him as a man I wanted and didn’t want to lose.

I looked at him as HOLDING something I wanted.

I looked at his face, his body, all of him – and I didn’t really see HIM – I only saw what it was I WANTED from him.

And so I moved, thought, acted, spoke and felt FAST.

It was as though every moment was a piece of my storybook idea of “relationship.”

I had decided that since he was “beneath me,” he was EASY.

I thought that I could have whatever I wanted from him, because that’s what he said, and that’s what my FRIENDS said.

But, truthfully, I didn’t believe it.

I felt lower than low on the totem pole of life and love – and I just felt LUCKY to have him around at all.

I was looking to him to make everything – including ME – Okay.

Now, I want you to look at your man – in your imagination – and experience how you feel when you look at him. Imagine he’s WATCHING YOU, and he’s Leaning Forward to you.

Do you feel longing and pining?

Is it like a clenching in your heart, a sort of silent begging him to stop all his nonsense and just make everything Okay?

And can you feel your heart and your mind moving fast, trying to cut all the corners and just close the deal?

Just get it all squared away, finalized – OKAY?

Well, it’s this energy that pushes a man away.

And no matter how hard we try to keep it under control, it’s in our “vibe,” and he can feel it.

Even if it’s not strong enough to actually push him away – it will KEEP him away.

It will keep the relationship in a stuck place, where the ATTRACTION just isn’t strong enough to push him over the edge – into falling in love and feeling intensely devoted to you – forever.

Creating this kind of attraction is sort of magical.

It requires you getting out of that mindset where your man holds some kind of “keys” to your happiness – and putting the keys in your OWN hands.

And it requires an ATTENTION to DETAILS.

So – here’s where “Painting” comes in – try this:

1. Take a cup of water and go outside to a tree, or a bush, or a flower, or a statue.

2. Now – you’re going to use your fingers for a “brush” – so dip your finger into the water, and then “Paint” the tree, or the flower or statue or the leaf, with the water – very, very slowly and carefully – watching every single stroke you make, FEELING every single stroke you make, noticing every single tiny bit of the tree bark, or the flower petal, or the leaf.

Go so slowly that you feel like you’re going in slow motion – and make sure you’re AWARE of every second that passes – and that ALL your attention is on the water going onto the tree, the flower, the piece of fruit hanging from a branch.

Pretend the water is LOVE, and you’re painting this tree trunk, branch, fruit, flower, statue, with LOVE – literally.

3. Now, imagine your man is standing in front of you.

Put yourself in the Rori Raye Dance Position. (You can find basic instructions for this and any other of my essential Tools on my blog, in my ebook and programs …for now, LeanBack, open (“Unzipper”) your heart, arms down, palms out, focus on your pelvis, relax your shoulders, smile.)

Imagine him just STANDING THERE, smiling at you.

Feel what you feel.

Now –

4. Go to a mirror and while you’re watching your reflection in the mirror, Paint Yourself.

Paint Yourself exactly the way you did the tree trunk or the flower or leaf or statue.

Touch yourself gently and lovingly, and experience each stroke as if it were magical.

Pay attention to what you see and what you feel.

Paint each hair, each tiny bit of your face, your shoulders, your whole naked body if you have the time.

If you have only a short bit of time (please do this Tool often)- really focus in on the detail of one small part of you – your eyelashes, your forehead…your shoulder…your mouth.

Keep breathing, keep Leaning Back, keep stroking yourself slowly, carefully – each tiny detail.

Pay attention to yourself – really get into this process of Painting Yourself With Love – moment by moment.


5. Imagine your man, or an imaginary man is standing next to you.

Imagine he’s watching you.

Let him watch you slowly and lovingly Paint Yourself With Love.

Imagine him standing there, smiling, leaning forward, and watching you Paint Yourself With Love – and imagine he is MESMERIZED (because he certainly would be if you were to Love Yourself like this in his presence in real life…)


6. Carry this image and this experience around with you EVERYWHERE.

Imagine yourself painting yourself WHEREVER you are – in the market, at the drugstore, in the restaurant – and EVERY MOMENT you’re with your man – and…this is important…

EVEN IF he’s not even looking at you.

EVEN IF he seems to be distracted.

EVEN IF you can feel yourself being jealous or upset or hurt by what he’s doing or not doing.

Imagine him WATCHING you Paint Yourself With Love, and imagine EVERYONE in the place ADMIRING
you for Painting Yourself.

Imagine everyone wanting to touch you and stroke you or take out a brush and Paint You With Love.

How does that FEEL?

What makes this Tool so powerful is that it’s so SPECIFIC.

It’s something you can imagine in great DETAIL, and that you can experience emotionally.

So – how will this make you more attractive to him on a deep, emotional level?

Because a man is NOT INTERESTED in experiencing you loving HIM.

He’s interested in experiencing you loving YOURSELF when HE’S loving YOU!

He’s completely captivated by a woman who is so trusting of him, so open to him, that she could
experience her deepest pleasure when she’s with him.

And this is what you want to do.

You will wrap him around your little finger, and activate your inner “Siren” if you can LOVE YOURSELF in HIS PRESENCE.

He will be “blown away,” and never, ever want to step away from you.

Let me know how Painting Yourself With Love works – I love these kinds of Tools, and the moment I even begin to imagine Painting Myself, I can see the difference in my husband almost instantaneously.

I just go all soft and surrender to myself, and he just walks over to me and starts stroking me like I’m a magnet.

Let me know how it feels to be the magnet you truly already are…

Love, Rori

From Sarah – Rori Raye rocks – even her sales pages are amazing, filled with information and help – she goes at this relationship thing and attraction thing in a different way than anyone out there. To learn how you can have the relationship of your dreams and get your free Rori Raye newsletters, go here-> Rori Raye’s Free Relationship Advice eLetters


  1. beams on January 10, 2009 at 2:02 am

    I actually tried this and it worked. My relationship was on the rocks and right now, everything is just going so smoothly. My partner has never been this attentive and affectionate. Thank you.

  2. chelle on January 11, 2009 at 8:41 am

    This is a totally new concept to me! I found it quite fascinating to be honest. I already have a good relationship but I think your advice could have the potential to put that spark there and make it fabulous! I’m going to try this and I will stop back and comment on how it worked for me.

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