by The Editors
If you need relationship support and you don’t know where to turn, take a minute and read this article – we’ll give you some tips on how to improve a stagnant relationship.
How do you spice up a boring relationship?
First things first, the two of you need to have a serious talk.
Set a time when you will both be home and have no other obligations.
Make an appointment if you have to.
Make sure the distractions are kept to a minimum so you can work this all out.
If you have kids, make the time after they’re in bed, or get a sitter and go to a coffee shop, or send them over to a friend’s or relative’s for the afternoon or evening.
Get Your Relationship a Positive Vibe
1. Get some paper and a pen, start out by listing what is good about your relationship and what is bad or needs work.
Do it together – each of you making contributions WITHOUT voicing any judgments, thoughts or feelings about what the other is putting out.
Make this list as complete as possible.
2. Beside each item on the list under the heading “needs work,” come up with ways to make each one better or “go away” if necessary.
Be creative with your ideas.
If you both end up laughing during this session – so much the better! Some things can actually get fixed just by having fun together doing this exercise.
3. Vow to make a commitment to each other that you will both strive to make things better.
Start working together as your own relationship support for each other – and soon you’ll be happier than you’ve been in a long time.
If it sounds hard to get your man on board for such a deep and thorough examination of your relationship – start doing this on your own.
Write your own list.
Take these next tips and figure out how you can start the ball rolling without having expectations about what he’ll do that can cause even more disappointment and anger:
Start doing little things for each other.
When was the last time you bought him a card for no reason?
Or he told you that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him? Or you said that to HIM?
Were you really just going to let this relationship die without fighting for it?
That would have been a terrible shame. If the love is still there, then there’s hope for the two of you to salvage your relationship.
Make yourselves a date night and stick to it, every single week.
Do not let anything get in the way.
Pick a favorite place to go or choose a different place each week, it doesn’t matter as long as you keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
A nice dinner and a movie or maybe a show at a dinner theater. Heck, even a local hockey game or high school football game would be fun. Any way to just spend some quality time together.
Invite an Outside Eye to Improve Your Relationship
In addition to these suggestions, it wouldn’t hurt to go see someone knowledgeable in helping couples stay together or putting their relationship back together if it has crumbled.
Sometimes you just can’t do it on your own.
So if you need a little boost while you’re working on your relationship, or there are issues that the two of you cannot work out – this is your best option to make things better. A good counselor will work with you to come up with a compromise that’s acceptable for both of you.
If communication is the biggest issue in your relationship – the counselor can show you better ways to communicate with each other and give you homework so you can practice.
No one is born knowing how to communicate effectively! Talking and sharing without attacking or judging is a skill – a learned behavior.
So do not feel badly if you have to ask for relationship support for the health of your relationship. Feel great that you’re willing to do what it takes!