Relationship commitment. A lifelong goal for some, for others, a thought that puts shivers down the spine. While many would love to settle down and grow closer to someone over a period of years, others find the thrill of the chase much more satisfying.
Relationship Commitment: Then and Now
For much of history growing up, meeting someone, and getting married was a natural progression that happened, particularly for women, at a fairly young age. The twenty first century is testing the durability of such a tradition. Marriage is becoming less popular while divorce rates increase periodically. Looking for Mr or Mrs right, finding them, and settling down to bring up a family is no longer the goal for a lot of young people. But, whether we simply can’t get away from our biological programming or whether we realize the importance of family for the years to come, we often find ourselves on the search for the “one” as we enter our thirties.
And the truth is relationship commitment is an extremely rewarding experience. The trick is meeting the right person. Does the person want the same things out of life, and will they be willing to go that extra mile to get them? Are they genuine in everything they say? Trust is a major factor in any relationship. When someone says “I love you”, they have to mean it. No relationship commitment can work out long term if one of you doesn’t mean this when they say it.
The relationship doesn’t have to be based on a written contract, but understand that a relationship commitment does involve an unwritten contract, an understanding and trust that you’re each there for the other through thick and thin.
Relationship Commitment: Don’t Let the Commitment Kill the Spark
This trust you’ve each invested should feed the initial spark of your romance, not squash it. It takes great effort to keep that spark fresh and alive. But that is just as important as any other issues that come up. If boredom has a chance of setting in, that’s when the relationship can break down. Keep the romance alive, continue to do the things that you do in the early days of building a relationship. Leave little notes for your partner, bring a gift when you arrive home from work. A committed relationship is not a fixed one, it’s always changing, always building.
If problems occur they have to be discussed as soon as possible. Letting something brew for a period of time will only magnify it. The sooner a problem is talked about the more chance you have of getting it resolved, so the relationship can continue in trust and understanding.
Relationship commitment is a journey that will have it’s ups and downs, and many rewards at the same time. There is perhaps nothing more satisfying than raising a family, and growing old with a loving partner. This is something the thrill chasers will surely miss out on, either by never committing to anything, or giving up just when it starts to become serious. Relationship commitment asks a lot, but it gives back more.
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