mountaintopby Leslie

 From The Editors: This is a new feature at LoveRomanceRelationship – a column written by Leslie – she has a fascinating life, a lot to say, and she writes brilliantly and compellingly…if you’d like to be considered as a LoveRomanceRelationship columnist, please let us know!

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** You’re going to hear a lot about Joe.

Please be patient with me.

I feel like God sent him like a tugboat to pull me into safe harbor. That’s what he did. And Rori, I love him so much, and feel like he’s FAMILY to me.

I trust him and respect him completely. And you know how you say, “A guy knows right away” ?

Well, Joe knew. And he knows. And still, he’s dating someone else. It’s all a very confusing situation for me, which is why I signed up for your class.

He says it’s not easy for him either. (He’s been perfectly honorable).

I’ll explain everything that’s happened at some other point.

He has feelings for me so intense that they freak him out. (He’s said that more than once. I’m not projecting that onto him.)

And he desires me physically so much that he keeps his hands in his pockets when he’s around me so he doesn’t grab me. (Again-he admits that. I’m not making it up.)

But he’s with this other girl, who when I met him, he was dating very casually—once a week or so.

He told me he felt very ambivalent about her.

I assumed he was going to break up with her to be with me, because he so clearly was crazy about me and didn’t even see her at all for the two weeks we spent together in the summer.

Then I had to go back down to NYC, and he started spending more time with her.

He actually said, “I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the intensity of you and me. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. Hanging out with her is a good way to detach from the intensity.” I wasn’t sure what to say, so I didn’t say anything.

He’s never let more than a few days pass without being in touch with me. (Except during hunting season, when he was out in the woods for a few weeks.)

And only two weeks ago, I said, “You know, you’ve made me two promises and I’m not even sure you remember them.”

“I did? ” he said. “I don’t normally make promises unless I plan to keep them.”

“The first one was that you’d never go to New Orleans unless you go with me.”

He shook his head. “Do you put a spell on me or something, because I don’t remember us ever even discussing that.”

“Yeah-There’s a lot you don’t remember about THAT conversation,” I said playfully.

He blushed and looked away, because he knew I was referencing a conversation we had in November, where I’d been blown away that he didn’t remember telling me that he would have broken up with the other girl by Thanksgiving so we could see what it would be like to be together, when I moved to Vermont.

Granted-we’d had this conversation (him breaking up with the other girl and New Orleans in same conversation) on August 19th, and we didn’t discuss it again until November 1, when he said he didn’t remember ever saying that.

(I will admit that his blood was not entirely in his cranium during that conversation.)

“Anyway, ” he said. “What was the other promise?”

We looked at each other for a moment, and then I said slowly, “You promised me that you’d have sex with me someday.”

The look between us hung in the air, and then he said slowly, “I will probably never go to New Orleans. As for the other— that’s one promise I will follow through on.”

That was two weeks ago.

So you tell me. He’s obviously a Won’t, not a Can’t.



1 Comment

  1. Sophia on April 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    He is snowing you, playing you, incredibly immature, not a gentleman, not forthcoming, has built in excuses as to why he lets you down and gets to date other women: “…the intensity is too much for him.” And his attraction to you is “… so strong he has to keep his hands in his pocket.” He sounds like a total womanizer who I’m sorry to say has gotten the better of you and you deserve more!

    Is it possible you fell for how much he claims to care about you, rather than him? It’s easy to have happen. Especially now when men rarely tell a woman they care for her, know how to court a woman or be honorable. My sense he is a faker.
    Best wishes!

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