relationshipby Dominique

Why doesn’t he call?

Isn’t this sometimes so frustrating? Confusing? Anxiety making?

When he’s with you, he’s all over you.

The relationship feels great.

The sex feels wonderful.

He makes you feel so great; the connection feels strong.

You have so much fun. He looks after you. He looks out for you. He seems really into you.

And then very little or next to nothing. He doesn’t call. Not for days.

Sometimes you just feel like an after thought.

Especially in the very, very beginning of a relationship, though he may like you very much, though he may even be smitten with you, though you may be hugely on his radar, the comfort and security which develops as a relationship grows has not yet been established.

There could be hesitations or questions of whether he “should” or “shouldn’t” call you. He may very well not want to come on too strong, scare you away.

And there are certainly some men who can be the complete opposite. This can be a red flag though. Not always and not necessarily, but it is something to pay attention to. Too much too soon, too strong too fast can be cause for caution.

Observe, watch, and wait to see how things unfold. He may simply have some insecurities as we all do, or he may have some deeper issues. But this is food for another article.

Or maybe you’ve even been together for awhile, and this isn’t a new, feeling things out thing, and still he doesn’t call or text nearly as much as you would like.

Maybe he used to, and maybe he never did. Either way you wish things would be different. Actually you would love it if he called or texted numerous times a day, but you probably know this might be unrealistic, but is once or twice a day asking too much?

You’ve talked to him nicely about this, and still he doesn’t maintain as much contact as would feel better to you. You then tell him you want him to call/text more, or maybe you plead and cajole but still no difference. Sometimes it seems like he’s completely ignoring you. You wonder how he could be so insensitive.

So does this mean he doesn’t care about you or your feelings?

Is This Maybe an Imaginary Relationship?

To the former question I would say likely no if this is a good man who loves you and wants to be with you. To the latter question the answer is, it’s a possibility. Generally if he’s mostly attentive and affectionate with you, if he mostly takes care of you and the relationship, if you feel a strong connection, then this is likely not imaginary.

So what then can you do about this not enough contact thing?

Reflecting back on when K and I started dating, I remember he only called once a week usually, sometimes twice, and though this felt like not enough, I was strangely mostly okay with it.

Yes I sometimes wished he would call me more often; every day would have felt great, and yes I wondered just like you if maybe he wasn’t all that interested. If I was just a for now girl.

We did have some e-mail banter going on some days which helped of course, but I feel better hearing a man’s voice. I much prefer feeling a person

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