You’ve likely heard that, in a relationship, a man is meant to do the chasing or courting, and the woman sits back and enjoys the attention, allows herself to be wooed, and if she likes him, she welcomes the advances, and if she doesn’t, she lets him go.
Well you might say that times have changed… We are no longer possessions. We can and do work alongside men in any profession.
AND we CAN do the courting; we can chase after men and run the dating show so to speak too.
But is this what you really want?
Biologically, men are men, and women are women. Well…yes of course – AND along with this, our natures as men and women have not changed either. The dynamic between males and females in courtship are as they always have been.
This is even more marked the healthier you become inside; the more you heal, the more you are able to be in your heart, open and vulnerable, authentic.
Men and women have worked so hard to change this though, believing that equality is an ideal worth striving for.
But Does This Work in a Relationship?
I believe this is a mistake, a misguided idea which seems to be playing out to everyone’s detriment.
Confusion is now reigning on both sides. Few know how to BE in the dating and relationship world, and the results have been in many cases disastrous.
It has worked to pull men and women further apart rather than bring them closer together.
Maybe you are aware of this on some level.
Now I am absolutely NOT suggesting that a return to Victorian times is a good idea. What I am saying is that a return to a feminine and masculine way of demeanor is.
What I mean by this is that women need to be more womanly, open hearted, emotional, soft, and vulnerable yet with very well established boundaries, not walls, boundaries.
And men need to be men, leading, rowing the boat so to speak, being more and more present so that you can go deeper together as a couple than you ever could alone.
What Does This Mean for You Relationship?
This means you as a woman need to lean back. You need to learn how to receive. If you are new to this kind of work and even if you have been at it awhile, the feeling that leaning back brings can feel very scary and uncomfortable.
It can feel like a position from which a man will surely take advantage, use and abuse you. It can feel SO vulnerable. It can feel like weakness. And weakness is bad!!! Isn’t it???
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Vulnerable DOES NOT at all mean weak. Coming from a place of vulnerability is not only immensely beautiful, for you are being real, AUTHENTIC, you are also being tremendously alluring, enticing, goddessy.
Courting is innate in the human species, in most all of the species for that matter. The man does the wooing. And the woman chooses to have him or not. What are your thoughts?
From The Editors: We love Dominique as a person, and think she’s one of the best coaches around. She’s the ONLY coach we recommend to women who want to open their hearts and find their true selves in a deep emotional, physical, spiritual, sensual and sexual way. Start with her ebook “Sex and Heart” – and then email her for coaching for your relationship->