Whether you’re in a good relationship, a bad relationship, or none at all, check in with yourself right now. Do you feel in charge of yourself? At peace with yourself? Do you know and love who you are? I’ve learned from the articles, experts and “gurus” here that the biggest step toward creating a happy, brilliantly successful relationship with a man is having a strong and loving relationship with yourself.
And that’s easier said than done. So, I (and all the staff here) want to offer you the best relationship advice around. The clearest, step-by-step guides and information about YOU, not just relationships in general. New ideas, new things to try, new discoveries and the heartfelt true success stories of women like you and me.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and it is true that sometimes relationships can seem to balance out those qualities and give you strength where you feel weak. But we need to learn how to take care of ourselves, because sometimes the other person, no matter how caring, cannot be there for us or does not know how to be there in the way we need.
This relationship advice works for me: Acknowledge when you feel your weakest. Accept yourself in that state and find the things you can do to comfort and boost yourself, little indulgences like a hot bath, a hike, a trip to the beach, a good book or movie.
Know your virtues and your faults and accept them for what they are, part of you.
I make small goals for myself like overcoming my bad habits or starting new healthy routines. And yet, when I fall short, I feel compelled to be hard on myself. It’s a challenge for me, as I know it is for other women, to not beat myself up. I’ve always been hard on myself, but with the help of the advice here, I’m so much more accepting of myself. I move on. I try again.
I know that – no matter what – I can be there for myself. I’m my own best friend – and my own best lover, too… and I know you can do that for yourself, believe me, if I can do it, anyone can!
Best Relationship Advice Ever?
According to everything I’ve read and experienced, another upside to being there for yourself and building your confidence and your comfort with yourself, is that you’ll suddenly find you’re attracting men with similarly strong qualities. Like attracts like. If you’ve found yourself in a series of relationships with men who are reliant on you for a sense of security or confidence, then you might find that boosting your own confidence also brings stronger men into your life.
So now that we’re concentrating on being our own best friend, let’s go back to the first point I listed: we’ve got to learn what sort of energy and focus to put into relationships.
Because we so strongly want our relationships to work out, we often try to steer them. If something goes wrong we want to take control and fix. Sometimes, even if nothing seems to be going wrong, we still feel the need to pour our energy into guiding the relationship in the right direction. So many women write in hoping to find a solution they can implement like a love potion – something that they can do that always works.
But, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that not doing is often the solution – not always, but often. Numerous experienced relationship coaches have noticed that women are constantly working at their relationships. And, the truth is we can overwork them.
We try to control our relationships. It makes sense, because we invest so much. But what relationship coaches also notice is that this often turns men away – the opposite effect we’re going for.
Some of the experts here write relationship advice on masculine and feminine energy: “Feminine” energy is very open, receiving, fluid, like water. “Masculine” energy has a stronger drive. Men and women each have these different energies to varying degrees, and in this modern age with more women in the work force leading strong, independent lives, society frequently rewards women who exhibit a certain amount of masculine energy.
I’m a huge fan of that, but I’ve also learned, as a lot of relationship advice experts will point out, that the relationship between a man and woman is in many ways the same as it was in the time of the ancients. Men want to lead, and deep down, most women want men to lead too. But many of us are too scared to let them. We feel we have so much at stake in a relationship that we constantly try to take control.
Now, I’m not saying that “letting them lead” means giving up our say or compromising on matters that we feel strongly about. It simply means stepping back a little, putting more of that control into the guy’s hands than you might be used to. I’ve really had some amazing turnarounds in my own relationship – and been shocked at how deeply he appreciates it when I just love him and let him do what he thinks is right without getting all involved in the outcome (unless it’s really important to me, and then I use Rori Raye’s negotiating techniques.
The boost of confidence and self-esteem you’re working on will help too. If you’re comfortable with yourself, you won’t have to hang everything on your relationship and you’ll be able to give him a little more room to find his way. He’ll have to work a little harder to win you over, which means he’ll have to invest more, and the more you get him to invest, the more he’s going to care about you, the person he’s investing in.
The Relationship Advice Wrap Up.
I know you’ll get so much from all the articles and ebooks we’ve gathered on relationship advice – we’ve hand-picked everything based on talking to hundreds and hundreds of women. We’d so love to hear from you, and hope you’ll get involved with the points of view and tools you see here, and remember to comment to let us know how they work. Go get some love and relationship advice from the main site.
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