There are some big questions we women face in day-to-day life and we may not always want to admit it, but love and romance mean a lot to us which is why a place to turn for solid relationship advice is so important.
I’ve been searching the web, gathering the best relationship advice, and finding great stuff that truly helps and not-so-great stuff that just seems like the easy thing to say, and that’s why I love editing the site – I get to publish the good stuff!
The shocking thing about there being so many “experts” out there is that there are so many completely different kinds of relationship advice. Some people focus on strategy, and I really don’t like that – I don’t think it works. What I look for in an article to publish here are steps I can actually DO, and a philosophy that’s about being MORE myself, not less.
I’ve personally been a driven workaholic type, and so reading about how to appreciate myself is one of the things I’ve learned to appreciate about myself. On the other hand – I love really loud, provocative experts who get us all riled up and angry – for me, that just says how challenging it is for us women to deal with relationships and men these days.
After sorting though and editing so much material from our amazing marriage and relationship advice experts, I’ve begun to recognize the patterns of behavior we all – women and men, too, fall into.
So, from my reading, here’s what I see as the two largest difficulties we women often face…
- We place an the enormous amount of weight on the success of our relationships, therefore, we try to control our relationships, especially when they hit rough patches. And, as Rori Raye says, “that doesn’t work.” Surprisingly, trying to control things (and trying to control men) almost always has the complete opposite effect from what we desire.
- We often tie our confidence, self-esteem, sometimes even our very identities to the men we love. An unhappy ending can shatter not only our hearts, but our very selves.
These two issues are intricately connected. And I’m going to use what I’ve learned to address them here to the best of my abilities.
Our Relationship Advice for Women
Most of us women put our all into all our relationships – and especially into our romantic love relationships. That’s why we started LoveRomanceRelationship, to help sort out all the information out there that tells us what to do. We women want to make relationships work and to paraphrase Christian Carter:
Because of everything we’ve ever been told and taught, we instinctively do and say the completely WRONG things, the things that are guaranteed to WRECK our relationships instead of cement them.
This isn’t to say that men don’t care about relationships, but for us, how well our relationships work often falls higher on our priority list, and we should embrace this. This is a beautiful quality that we have. We care about making it work, making true and meaningful connections. We put a lot of our focus into this. However, if we don’t use that focus in the right way, it can actually end up harming our relationships instead of fixing them.
Because our relationships mean so much to us, we can fall in the trap of living by them. They become our nourishment. We find our strength and confidence in them.
However, this pattern is not only unhealthy for us, it’s unhealthy for our relationships too. Ultimately, it undermines everything we’ve worked for. WE end up pushing the man we love away because we so much want things to “work.” We push love and men away because we instinctively feel the need to “work” hard for the relationship in the first place.
Over and over again, I’ve read comments or letters from women suffering in bad relationships or not having a relationship, often out of fear, and these women are losing confidence in themselves day by day, minute by minute.
I’ve been there and I know you have too, looking for answers in the man you’re with, but blaming ourselves if (when) anything goes wrong. Sometimes, the self-blame is clearly evident and sometimes we bury it deeply, but it’s always there.