by Steve Warwick
Alise: Invite me to dinner, Frank.
Frank: What? … um … Would you like to have dinner?
Alise: Women don’t like questions.
Frank: Join me for dinner.
Alise: Too demanding.
Frank: Join me for dinner?
Alise: Another question.
( Frank thinks for a moment. )
Frank: I’m having dinner… if you’d care to join me…
If you’ve seen the movie, The Tourist,” you’ll know that is part of the conversation between the two main characters, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, when they first meet on a train to Venice.
Why do I bring this conversation up?
Because is speaks volumes to the dance we call relationships and because it speaks to the communication that happens between men and women on a much deeper level than the words themselves.
Throughout much of the movie, Jolie is the one in charge. She knows what she wants, has a plan, knows where she’s going and can, in typical movie magic, show up at the right time with whatever’s needed. Frank, the tourist, is slightly lost throughout much of the movie.
Which are you in your life?
But let’s take a look at that conversation for a moment:
Would you like to have dinner? Too cold.
Join me for dinner. Too hot.
I’m having dinner… if you’d care to join me. Just right…
If you read between the lines, “I’m having dinner, would you care to join me” makes a profound statement about Frank and his place in the world.
Why? Well after interviewing over a dozen relationship experts, I can tell you the one thread that runs through every philosophy of dating and relationships, is to take control of your life and know yourself first. And that’s what Frank’s statement says – I have everything together, I have a life – and I’d like to invite you in. If you choose not to, that’s also fine.
Let’s face it, if we don’t know who we are or what we like, how can we create a solid relationship with good boundaries and mutual respect? How can we truly give ourselves to another when we don’t have a firm grasp of who we are and what we like?
Frank eventually becomes the hero of the piece because he finally figures out what he wants out of life and realizes it is Alise, and he will not step back from that – romantic, yes?
From Sarah: It occurred to me when I read this from Steve that language and dialogue is often what makes the difference between success and failure in love – not knowing how to say what we want to say, not knowing how to make HIM say what we want to hear. That’s why I so LOVE this ebook “Text The Romance Back” by Michael Fiore. You can get his free newsletters, and a free report on how to flirt with a man through text messages – it’ll totally rock your relationship with every man–>>